Chapter 16
Neither one spoke much the entire day. In fact, Julian avoided Grace entirely.
That more than anything told her what decision he'd made.
Her heart was broken. How could he leave her after all they'd been through? After all they'd shared?
She couldn't stand the thought of losing him. Life without him would be unbearable.
At sunset, Grace found him sitting in the rocking chair on her deck, watching the sun as if for the last time. His face was so stern that she barely recognized it as belonging to the playful man she had grown to love so much.
Finally, she couldn't stand the silence any longer. "I don't want you to leave me. I want you to stay here in my time. I can take care of you, Julian. I make plenty of money, and I can teach you anything you want to know."
"I can't stay," he said between clenched teeth. "Don't you understand? Everyone who has ever been close to me has been punished by the gods. Iason, Penelope, Callista, Atolycus." He looked at her as if dazed. "Dear Zeus, they crucified Kyrian."
"It will be different this time."
He rose to his feet and gave her a hard stare. "That's right. It will be different. I'm not going to stay here and watch you die because of me."
He walked past her, into the house.
Grace clenched her hands into fists, wanting to strangle him. "You stubborn... man!"
How could he be so impossible?
It was then she felt the diamond of her mother's wedding ring cutting into her palm. Opening her fist, she took one long look. She was through letting the past haunt her. For the first time in a long time, she had a future to look forward to. One that filled her with happiness.
And she wasn't about to let Julian throw it away.
More determined than ever, she opened the door to the house and smiled evilly. "You're not going to get away from me, Julian of Macedon. You might have beaten back the Romans, but I assure you, they were wimps in comparison to me."
Julian sat in the living room with his book in his lap. He ran his hand over the ancient writing, despising it more now than he ever had before.
Closing his eyes, he remembered the night Grace had summoned him. He remembered what it felt like to have no real identity. To just be the anonymous Greek love-slave.
Long ago, he had lost himself in a painful place of dark obscurity, and yet Grace had found him.
Through her strength and kindness, she had braved the worst of him and brought him back to humanity. She, alone, had seen into his heart and found it worthy.
Stay with her.
Gods, how easy that sounded. How simple. But he didn't dare. He'd lost his children already. The only part of his heart left alive was Grace, and to lose her because of his brother...
It would be more pain than he could bear.
Even he had a breaking point. And now he knew the face and name of what could bring him to his knees.
Grace.
For her own sake, he had to let her go.
He felt her enter the room. Opening his eyes, he saw her standing in the doorway, looking straight at him.
"I wish I could destroy this thing," he snarled, returning it to the coffee table.
"After tonight, you won't have to."
Her words made him ache. How could she do this for him? Her worst fear was to be used, and here he was using her the way he, himself, had been used so many times.
"You're still going to let me take your body just so I can leave you?"
It was the sincerity in her gaze that held him transfixed. "If it means your freedom, yes."
The next question stung his throat, but he had to know the answer to it. "Will you cry when I'm gone?"
She looked away and he saw the truth of it in her eyes. He was no better than Paul had been. He was every bit the selfish abuser.
But then, he was his father's son. Sooner or later, bad blood always showed itself.
Grace turned then and left him alone with his thoughts. Julian let his gaze roam around the room. When it fell to the space in front of the couch, his chest tightened even more.
He would miss those nights of hearing Grace's voice. Her laughter.
Most of all, he would miss her touch.
It was so tempting to stay, but he didn't dare. He hadn't been able to protect his children, how on earth could he protect Grace?
"Julian?"
Julian started at Grace's voice coming from above. "Yes?"
"It's eleven-thirty. Shouldn't you be up here?"
He glanced down at the swollen lump in his jeans. It was time to finally put it to use.
He should be delighted. It was all he'd wanted since the moment he'd first seen her.
Yet, for some reason it pained him to think of taking her now.
At least you won't hurt her.
Won't I?
Indeed, he doubted if Paul had done half the damage to her heart as he was about to do.
"Julian?"
"I'm coming," he said, forcing himself to leave the couch.
At the doorway, he took one last look around.
Even now, he could see Grace lying on the couch, her breasts drenched in whipped cream as he slowly, carefully licked them clean. He heard her drifting laughter and saw the light in her eyes as he brought her to climax.
"Don't leave me, Julian." Her whispered words had scorched him last night when she'd uttered them while she thought he was asleep. Now they lacerated his heart.
"Julian?"
Turning away, he went to the stairs and dragged his hand up the banister. This would be the last time he climbed these stairs. The last time he walked down the hallway to her room.
And this would be the last time he ever saw her in her bed...
His chest tightened to the point he couldn't breathe.
Why did it have to be this way?
He gave a bitter laugh. How many times had he asked himself that question?
When he reached her door, he stopped. The room shimmered in candlelight, but what caught his attention most was Grace wearing the red negligee he had picked out.
She was breathtaking.
He suddenly felt the need to pick his tongue up off the floor and roll it back into his mouth.
"You're not going to make this easy on me, are you?" he asked, his voice hoarse.
She smiled mischievously. "Should I?"
Transfixed by her, he couldn't move as she approached him. "Aren't you a bit overdressed?"
Before he could respond, she grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pulled it off, over his head. After dropping it to the floor, she reached out and placed her hand on his chest, just above his heart. In that moment, she was the most beautiful woman in the world to him. Not even his mother's beauty could compete with hers.
Julian stood as still as a statue as she ran her hands over his skin, raising chills all the way through him.
No, she wasn't going to make this easy at all.
He felt her fumble with his button and fly. "Grace," he said, pulling her hands away.
"Hmm?" she asked, her eyes dark with hunger.
"Never mind."
She left him and climbed into the bed. Julian sucked his breath in sharply at the sight of her bare bottom through the sheer negligee.
She lay down on her side and faced him.
Shedding his pants, he joined her. As he rolled her onto her back, her gown parted, gifting him with her right breast. Julian availed himself of it.
"Oh, Julian," she moaned.
He felt her quivering under him as he swirled his tongue around the taut peak. His body was liquid fire as it screamed in need for hers. But it wasn't just her body he wanted. He wanted her.
And leaving her was going to destroy him.
Julian swallowed as he pulled away. He had waited an eternity for this night. An eternity for this woman.
Tenderly, he brushed his hand over her face, committing every pore and curve of it to memory.
His precious Grace.