“Everybody thinks you lipstick lesbians are all nice and gentle and ‘make love,’” Abby said, using air quotes. “But you bitches are the freakiest ones out there.”
“Don’t hate. Besides, Vanessa likes it when I get a little freaky.” Megan briefly thought about the sex her and Vanessa had when they finally retired for the night last night. She had to cross her legs now just thinking about the new way the glass dildo had been employed.
They sat together in silence for a few minutes.
“So, I think I’m falling in love,” Megan eventually said softly, no longer able to keep it in.
Abby looked over at her.
“Falling?”
Megan sighed.
“Okay, fine. I think I am in love.”
“Think?”
“Fuck you. Fine, I am in love.”
She had to take a deep breath after saying it because it felt so powerful and scary to say, especially to another person. The truth was, however, that Megan knew she was in love with Vanessa well before this beach house staycation. It was frightening. She had only known Vanessa three weeks! But Megan now could not imagine what a life without Vanessa would be like, nor did she want to find out. Ever since Vanessa arrived in Megan’s world, Megan had felt a completeness that she had thought she’d had with one or two others but which she now realized she had never had. Not even with Cindy.
Megan had been doing a lot of thinking about Cindy lately. This time last year, after all, she was so in love with Cindy. Heck, just back in January she was so in love with Cindy and thus so devastated after finding out Cindy had been cheating on her.
But what had Megan thinking of Cindy so much lately was Megan trying to determine if what she had felt for Cindy was the same as what she was feeling now for Vanessa. The final conclusion?
Nope!
It wasn’t even close. Yes, Megan had been in love with Cindy; there was no denying that. And Megan supposed that if Cindy hadn’t cheated on her that she still would’ve wanted to marry her and build a life with her. Megan also supposed that in that alternate universe, she and Cindy would have been very happy together, and that in itself would have been amazing because it is more than most people get.
But the love she was feeling now for Vanessa…
It was Cindy times ten. Times a hundred. Being with Vanessa was like Megan had been given all of the answers to a test she didn’t realize she was taking.
She completes me.
“I just want to check,” Abby said, “that you’re not just reacting to great sex, right?”
Shaking her head, Megan said, “No, I promise. This is beyond sex. But you’re right, it’s so quick.”
“You haven’t said it to her yet?”
“Nope.”
Abby said nothing for a while. She just went back to looking out at the beach as if the answers all lay out there somewhere, in the endless Pacific. Finally, though, she said, “You’ve got a fucking big problem.”
“I know,” Megan confirmed.
“You’re moving to New York.”
“I know that too.”
“Which is probably a good thing,” Abby declared.
Megan looked at her best friend.
“Why do you say that?” she asked, genuinely wanting to know.
Abby shrugged.