“Okay?” he echoes back.
“Okay.” I close my eyes, taking a deep breath. “What’s your favorite food?”
“I don’t know.”
My eyes snap back open and again, I’m staring at the silhouette of him. “You don’t know your favorite food.”
“No, I’m not picky, so pretty much everything tastes like my favorite food these days. It doesn’t take much to beat what I used to eat after all, so there’s no competition.”
“What did you used to eat?” I ask, my brows wrinkling.
“In the military, a whole lot of MRE packs while deployed. And after that… nothing.”
Again, he’s left me puzzled. “Nothing.”
”I was homeless,” he says, shocking me. I put more pressure onto my side as I try to roll over to see more of him but I come up empty. “So, on the days that I couldn’t get anything at the shelter or scrounge up anything, there would be nothing to eat. So now, I don’t have a favorite. How can I when everything tastes great compared to nothing?”
I would have never guessed in a thousand years that Enzo was ever homeless. The disciplined, formidable man I see every day… leaving on the streets?
Impossible.
“How…” I try to figure out a way to ask my question.
“How did I get here?” he asks, seeming to know where I was going.
“Yeah.”
“Maximo. He found me on the street and convinced Giovanni to hire me. Everything after that was history.”
“History?” I’m intrigued now. Speaking to Enzo, listening to the man who usually only gives one word sentences and grunts tell me about his life, it makes me forget about the pain I’m in. “You can’t just call falling in love with Maximo history.”
“I guess not.” His head tilts back slightly but I still can't make out his face. “It was easier than one would think.”
There’s nothing easy about Maximo and from what I’ve seen, the same applies to their relationship.
“He’s a lot to deal with but that’s what makes it so easy to get caught up in him.” He could be talking about a god with the amount of reverence in his voice. “He’s passionate and when he’s set his intentions on something, he doesn’t let go. He didn’t and hasn’t let go of me since he first laid eyes on me.”
It sounds too good to be true and I can’t even imagine the man in question, but then I think about it… He’s not lying. Maximo is intense and determined. I imagine his love has to reflect that.
“Does it bother you what he does with others? What he does with me?” It's a question that I’ve always wondered but I’ve never been able to work up the courage to ask.
I know now is my only moment, while Enzo is being so open and honest.
“In the beginning, not at all. I was always aware on my bisexuality, the fact that I leaned more towards men if I had to put myself on a scale. But I was never able to actually explore that. I enlisted in the military so young and if you’re not careful with what you do and who you do it with, you may not make it back home. There were a couple of men over the years who I trusted not to tell, but it was always quick and in small spaces.”
“So when I met Maximo and he exposed me to his version of sex, the casuality of it, I was entranced. I knew early on that I loved him but that was after we’d already added in other partners. Once I realized I loved him, it was too late and I figured it didn’t matter anyway. I thought he was going to eventually get rid of me and throw me away. But then the look in his eyes started changing, started declaring that he owned me. He didn’t get that look with anyone else. It's what let me know I had his heart, not the people we slept with together.”
He shifts around, letting out a breath. “At some point, it started to get to me, once all the excitement of an open relationship wore off. But Maximo made it clear he was going to still fuck around with or without me. We never spoke of exclusivity or what this thing was but it was unsaid that he could do whatever he wanted, while I could only do what he wanted. I was fine with that.”
He stops talking and I realize I’m practically about to roll off of the edge of my bed, wanting to know more. “Was?” I ask. “You’re not okay with it anymore. What changed?”
“You,” he says simply. “You made me jealous. The day that you saw us when you were in the pool, Maximo was fucking me for being jealous of you.”
I never expected to hear that and it makes my cheeks heat up.
“I… I’m not…” I’m at a loss for what to say.
“Don’t worry, I’m not going to kill you over him.” There’s a lightness to his tone. “As long as Maximo wants you, I’ll allow him to have you.”
That type of dedication, devotion… there’s no way that Maximo knows what he has with Enzo.
I’d kill for someone to love me so much that they care more about my happiness than their own.
“What do you want?” I ask, curious.
Finally he turns his face far enough that I can see his features and the confusion written on his face throws me off. “I’m not sure anymore.”