Chapter 26
Grant’s anxieties must have been as high as mine were because he immediately answered my texts and told me he was coming to get me.
When I opened my apartment door to see his tall figure standing in the frame, I shouldn’t have been surprised that he was in his work clothes.
Dirt stains spread in the creases of his hands, and his hair tucked into his favorite cap. He wore my favorite pants tucked into his dirty work boots:
“Hey.” My voice was just over a whisper, too scared to talk any louder.
“Hey. Can I come in?”
I opened the door wider to let his large frame into my living area.
“Look, Hart. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have lashed out at you.” I shook my head and raised a hand to gesture to him to be quiet.
“No, I actually wanted to apologize, I forced you to talk about something that wasn’t my business, and I’m sorry.”
Grant took a step closer to me, the air between us thick.
“I was thinking everything over, and I realized it’s been two years since she passed, and you haven’t taken a day off.” He either didn’t have an answer for me, or he didn’t feel like talking, but I continued either way. “Beau said you work through holidays, birthdays, weekends. You never take a second just to not work.”
He shrugged his shoulders at me as if it was no big deal.
“I just enjoy my job. I don’t need to do anything else on the side.” I stared up at him, not wanting to lose sight of him.
“Grant. Give a little here.” His stubborn attitude wasn’t going to help my situation.
“I don’t know what you want to hear from me, Hart. I’m not going to be who you want me to be, and I’m not going to put myself in the same position again.”
He was serious—he really didn’t think he could manage it. The worst part was I knew Grant, and I knew how strong and capable he was. It wouldn’t be easy, but it would be better than losing each other.
“I think you need to go away.”
He nodded and turned to walk out, but I grabbed his hand. “No. I mean away from Lakeshore. You need to go out of town, clear your head, and leave your projects to Beau and the other guys. Maybe go stay with Lily. You just have got to clear your head, Grant. All you do is work. You haven’t even let yourself grieve.”
He let out a frustrated sigh. “It won’t change things. I have tried to let this go, but it doesn’t change the fact I have the possibility of losing you.”
“It may not. But you need to do this for yourself. You’re so stuck in denial and fear that you can’t get through your past. You always want to fix things for someone else that you have never taken the time to fix yourself.”
He stayed silent through my rant, not meeting my eyes.
“Please. Go take time to sort yourself out. I’ll be here. I will wait for you, however long it takes. Regardless of how scared you are, I love you, Grant. And I’m not giving up on us. So go take time away and come back to me when you’re ready.”
He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, “What’s supposed to happen if I go? Will everything just magically repair itself? There’s a reason I don’t rest, nothing good comes from me being alone with my thoughts.”
I shrugged, “I don’t know what that answer looks like, Grant. But I know if you don’t let yourself rest you will suffer from burn out till there’s nothing left. I want the Grant who takes me to flower fields and whispers sweet things in my ear. I can’t take the Grant who pretends he hates me or doesn’t pay anyone attention. It may not fix anything, and if you come back and decide nothing has changed, then I will accept it. I will admit you were right, and leave you by yourself. But the longer you push this off, the harder it will be.”
Tears were slowly streaming down my cheeks and I felt him relax at my rant. Grant pulled me into a hug, his chin resting on my head with my hands on his chest.
“Okay, Hart. If it means that much to you, I’ll go.” I squeezed him tightly around his torso.
“It’s okay if you’re not here for me when I come back. Don’t put your life on hold.” I looked at him. This was probably the worst I’d ever looked at him, but he gazed at me like I was the most beautiful girl he’d known.
He reached down to kiss me; it was short and sweet. His lips pressed lightly against mine, not letting me in any farther. I could tell it was a goodbye kiss, and I made a silent prayer that it wasn’t our last. Grant pulled away from me and stepped back, taking in the view of me and my apartment one last time.
“I’ll come back for you, Hart.”