Every Saturday Night (Firsts and Forever 6)

As I disengaged the brake on the stroller, I glanced across the street one last time. It was always impossible to see inside, given the way the early morning sunlight glinted off the diner’s windows, but that was okay. I’d see my dream man again tomorrow.

I swung the stroller around and told the baby, “Okay, kiddo, let’s head home. It’s a big day today. Your uncles are hosting a dinner party, and we need to help them clean up. The living room has turned into Owen central, and we need to move your stuff upstairs so the guests have room to mingle.”

Lark and Dylan had had the idea to host this dinner before I moved in. But since then, they’re reframed it as a way to introduce me to a lot of their friends all at once and had started calling me the guest of honor. I was trying to be gracious, so I didn’t point out that was actually terrifying to an introvert like me.

It only took five minutes to get home, and catching sight of the Victorian always made me happy. It was the most cheerful house on the block by far, not only because it was hot pink, but because of the rainbow-striped curtains in all the windows and the huge Pride flag flying majestically from the peak of the porch. It felt liberating to go from hiding my sexuality to living in a house where everyone was out and proud.

As soon as we got inside, I reversed the steps I’d taken to go out—unbundle the baby, check the diaper again, and so on. Then I carried him to the kitchen, where my housemate JoJo was waiting for us, just like every morning. She was the only other early riser in this household, and she always watched Owen for me so I could take a shower after my run.

Her platinum blonde curls were tied back with a red scarf, which matched her bathrobe, slippers, and the tiny red hearts on her white pajamas. “You have to stop looking that gorgeous first thing in the morning,” I told her with a grin. “It makes the rest of us feel gross by comparison.”

She flashed me a smile, then set aside her cup of tea and took the baby so I could get myself a glass of water. “A lot of people like that gray sweatpants jock look you’re rocking.”

“The word ‘jock’ doesn’t belong anywhere near me. At best, I’m a dork who runs. But get some balls near me and I turn into an uncoordinated mess.”

“That reminds me, there are going to be a couple of single guys at the party tonight. You know, just in case you’re interested.” She shifted Owen on her knee and handed him one of his toys from the kitchen table.

I chuckled and said, “Speaking of balls?”

“Exactly.”

“So, I guess Lark told you I was bi.” My brother was the second person I’d come out to after Hal, and that had only happened three weeks ago when I’d moved in.

“He just mentioned in passing that he wished he knew a cute guy to set you up with. I hope it’s okay that he said that.”

“Definitely. It’s not a secret or anything, but being out is still new to me. I always had to keep that side of myself hidden when I lived with my parents.”

“I’m curious about something, and no judgement, I swear. Why’d you live with them as long as you did? They sound pretty awful, but you stayed until you were twenty-three.”

“It was a financial decision. I was determined to get my degree without racking up a bunch of student loan debt, and that’s also why it was taking so long to graduate—I could only afford a few classes at a time. My parents charged a lot less rent than I would have had to pay anywhere else, and I had a room at the back of the garage with its own entrance, so they pretty much just left me alone.”

“Makes sense.”

“Are you close to your parents?”

She shook her head. “They could never accept the fact that I was trans and wouldn’t stop deadnaming me. I finally ended up cutting ties with them for the sake of my mental health.”

“I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“Thanks, but it was a long time ago. I’m pretty much the ‘it gets better’ poster child now, with a new family that loves me and my sweet, amazing Yolanda. What more could I ask for?”

“You two are definitely relationship goals. Can I ask how you met?”

JoJo grinned and said, “She hit on me in a bar. I knew right away that she was going to change my life forever.”

“And you were right, since you’re getting married next month and are obviously head over heels in love.”

I must have sounded wistful, because she said, “You’ll meet someone too, Logan. You’ll see.”

“That wasn’t so easy even before I became a single parent. Now it seems close to impossible.”

“It’s not,” she insisted. “Tell me, what do you want in a partner?”

I thought about it before saying, “More than anything, I guess I just want someone who accepts me the way I am. The people I’ve dated always wanted me to be different—more outgoing, or more confident, or more successful, or whatever. It made me feel like I was never good enough, and I hated that, especially because I’d already gotten that message while I was growing up.”

“That’s not asking for much.”

“No, but it doesn’t matter now. This isn’t the time to start a relationship anyway, even if anyone was interested. An occasional date would be nice, though…”