Shaw
“Thebedroomsareup the stairs. Follow me and I’ll show you to your room.”
Exhausted after the day’s turn of events, I merely nodded and trudged after Jackson Miller, the vice principal. Several people had expressed their sympathies, but he was the only one who’d helped me. He’d offered up his guest room to stay for as long as I needed until I worked out my insurance claims and everything else. He was a nice guy. Why had I never taken the time to get to know him better? We had a professional relationship. We met at parties, but they were work related, and the conversations always were about the students and the school district’s regulations.
“While you’re here, I want you to make yourself at home,” Jackson said. “I mean, it will never be home, but we have to make the best of what we have, right?”
“I truly appreciate this, Jackson.” Had I said that to him before? I couldn’t remember. I’d been numb since I watched my home and everything inside get destroyed. After the fire had been put out and the excitement had gone with it, as well as all the sensation seekers, I walked through what remained of my house. I stuck to the ground floor, as the fire marshal had declared the building unsafe.
“Don’t mention it,” Jackson said. “It’s the least I can do. I’m pretty sure you would have done the same for Tam and me.”
Would I have, though? I’d never know until he was in the same situation, which I hoped to hell not. I didn’t wish this on my worst enemy. Not quite true. Wasn’t that the reason I’d never called Ari to forget his plan to go after Judd? I swallowed hard, dread settling in my stomach. I shouldn’t have let him go. Now I had no idea where he was or even if he was okay.
At the top of the stairs, Jackson turned right. To the left, a corridor led to more rooms.
“That’s the bathroom.” He gestured to the door beside the one where we were standing with his hand on the knob. “Tam and I have our own, so you’ll have your privacy.”
I followed him inside. On the queen-sized bed in the room lay gray sheets, which matched the walls and curtains with a splash of the same bright green as the cushions on the leather couch against the left wall. Faux plants and frames with inspirational words perched on floating shelves.
“If there’s anything you need, don’t hesitate to let us know,” Jackson said. “I want you to treat this place like your own home. Nowhere’s off-limits. Well, except for our bedroom.”
I cracked a smile at his attempt at humor. What I needed more than anything was to take a shower and get rid of the scent of smoke and ash, but I didn’t even have anything to wear. Shit.
Where the hell are you, Ari?
“Do you have any spare clothes?” I asked Jackson. “I probably should take a shower before I do anything else. Wouldn’t want to ruin your bedsheets with the horrible smell.”
“Sure thing. Just let me find you a couple of things.”
“Just for tonight.”
“I’ll be right back.” He paused at the door. “I’m sorry this happened to you, Shaw, but we’re going to help get you through this.”
I nodded, a lump forming in the back of my throat. I was so fucking tired. The bed looked inviting, but how was I supposed to sleep tonight after everything? How was I supposed to close my eyes without feeling guilty about the angry words I’d spoken to Ari or for not demanding that he leave Judd alone?
I only had Ari’s sketches and colored pencils he’d left behind in my office. I stared at them and, with a groan, dropped them to the bed. I’d hold on to them until he came back. He had to. We were in this together now, and whatever he did or didn’t do, I was as much an accomplice. Ari was going after Judd, and by not telling the police before it happened, I was complicit and thereby just as guilty, but I couldn’t summon any remorse for what was sure to come.
Could I even stop him now? I doubted it. He'd wanted to kill Judd from the day the son of a bitch had shown up at the house. If I'd let him do it then, I’d have saved us all this heartache.
I dug my phone out of my pocket. Damn, it was dead. I found an outlet beside the bed and plugged my phone into the charger. Next, I opened the closet. The hangers were empty, but on the top shelf lay a pile of linens. I took down one of the big orange towels.
The bedroom door opened, and in walked Jackson’s wife, carrying a bundle of clothes in her arms. Tamryn gave me a small smile, her eyes full of concern. She was a pretty, petite woman. Now I remembered why I didn’t hang out with Jackson. I’d almost forgotten. Anne hadn’t liked Tamryn. She never liked anyone she felt was prettier than her.
“Shaw, it’s been a while.” She placed the clothes on the bed. “I’m terribly sorry for what happened. I can’t imagine what you’re going through.” She walked to me with her arms outstretched and gave me a comforting hug.
Jackson appeared behind his wife. He merely chuckled and shook his head. “Come on, Tam. Give Shaw some space to breathe.” She backed off, and he gave her a quick kiss, then turned his attention to me. “Sorry about that. Tam is a natural hugger. It’s her love language. We’re going to be downstairs. Feel free to join us for dinner if you want. If not, we’ll leave a plate for you, and you can eat anytime you want.”
“Thanks.”
Jackson waved his hand. “No more thank-yous. We’re only doing the one decent thing we can to help a friend. Knowing you’re safe is good enough.”
When he and Tam left, I powered my phone on, then dialed Ari’s number.
“Come on, baby, pick up.” But he didn’t. “Ari, it’s Shaw, your Daddy.” I hadn’t left him a voicemail the other times I’d called. “I’m sorry for the things I said earlier. This isn’t your fault, and I don’t blame you at all. I shouldn’t have said that. I was angry about the whole situation, and if I’m honest with you, I’m terrified of losing everything. Or so I thought, but I didn’t lose everything, Ari. I still have you. At least. I hope so. Please be safe. Call me as soon as you get this. I need to know you’re okay. I can’t lose you again.”
Although I hadn’t seen him as a lover when he was younger, I had lost him then, and his absence had left a hole nothing but his reappearance had been able to fill.
Please let him at least listen to the voicemail and hear my apology. I grabbed the change of clothing and towel and headed for the bathroom. After my shower, I checked my phone, but Ari hadn’t called back. I called him again without success. What happened? Where was he? I snatched up my car keys and went downstairs. Usually I was ravenous for dinner, but the delicious aroma wafting from the dining room made me nauseous.