“No, she’ll probably have Ophelia’s car pick her up.”
“Should I go after her?”
He shakes his head. “It’s just best to leave her alone.”
I adjust my boner, clearing my throat while backing toward the cushioned lounge chairs on the right-hand side of the room. Lev follows me without question. He slumps into one of the dark blue chairs and props his feet on the coffee table. I mimic his position, trying to calm my racing heart with a few deep breaths.
“Fucking blue balls,” I grumble. “Did you have to interrupt? You couldn’t have called?”
“I texted you three times.”
I sigh. “I think I left my phone downstairs.”
“So, you can’t be mad at me if you did that.”
“Maybe. Possibly.”
He grins with amusement and gestures to the table where a joint I rolled earlier this morning is sitting. I light it up, pass it to him, and wait for the green to fog up my mind. In just a few minutes, I’m completely relaxed, limbs loose as they should be. “Fuck this place.”
“Yeah, same.”
“I don’t want to get into the criminal life. It’s stupid.”
He sighs. “Same, man.”
“It’s just…” I raise the joint to my lips, squinting against the stream that threatens to pinch my eye. When I have enough in my lungs to feel sated, I exhale, twirling the shortened joint between my fingers. “I don’t know what I want, so I just smoke and go along with what my dad asks me to do.”
“I’m trying to stand up to mine.”
I nod. “See, that makes you brave as hell. Me? I’m a fucking coward. I can’t go against my dad no matter what.”
“You’re not a coward, Tomas.”
“Yeah? You sure about that?”
Through the smoke screen between us, I notice him nod. It’s a short, simple movement, but it’s a comforting gesture that puts my muscles at ease. I shiver as I take another drag and then pass the joint back to him.
“It’s okay to be unsure,” Lev assures me. “We’re just fucking kids, dude.”
“We’re not kids.”
He waves away the assessment. “Whatever. Legal adults. Kids. Who fucking cares?”
“You’re high.”
“Isn’t that the point?”
I chuckle loudly, crunching forward to catch the back of my knees with my hands. I stay like that for what feels like ages, just laughing, letting the amusement wash through me like a finely aged wine. It’s electric the way the weed feels in my system, grade-A Kush that seeps into my molecules and changes their very structure.
And laughter seems to enhance that process tenfold.
“We have an unusual lot in life to deal with,” Lev tells me while coughing. He pats his chest, shakes his head, and hands the joint back to me. I snuff it out and set it in the ashtray on the coffee table. “We’re doing what we can with what we’ve got.”
“You seem to know where you’re going, man. I wish I could do that.”
Lev looks startled for a second and then barks with laughter. “Now who’s fucking high?”
I gape at him for a long time, trying to figure out what the hell is so fucking funny, but I just can’t get a handle on my thoughts. After a second or two, I join his laughter, hugging my gut while my inner system shifts.
Good weed will do that. It’ll reset everything that’s wrong with my life and put it where it needs to be. New solutions come to the surface while I relax, which seems to make sense to me. If I’m balled up and tense, then I can’t see the way ahead. But when I’m unwound, I can notice just about every string that connects me to the entire world.
Alex is right in the middle of everything. She’s playing with all of us, undoubtedly, while also leaning into the security that being engaged to Parker brings. But she doesn’t want Parker. All of us can see that. She’s been actively resisting him this entire time.
If I give her an inch, will she take a mile? Giving her time with my mother seemed to help before Lev interrupted. But I can’t be mad at Lev for wanting to come over and shoot the shit with me. He’s my best friend. He’s one of the few people in this town I can trust. And he understands what it means to want out of this petty criminal lifestyle shit.
Alex seems to want to get in deeper. All the while, I’m still trying to figure out where the fuck I’m supposed to go. But maybe she can show me. Maybe she can take me with her. I don’t care as long as I get to keep her and protect my little sister.