Chapter Fifteen
Lev
My mother lingers in the doorway of my bedroom while I pack a bag. A few T-shirts, an extra pair of jeans, and some toiletries are all I need. The things that matter most are waiting for me in England—and one of them is at the Somerville mansion.
“Lev,” Mom says. “Being alone is dangerous.”
“Lucky for me, I won’t be alone where I’m going.”
She shakes her head. “You know what I mean.”
“Mom, I’ll be fine. You don’t have to worry about me.”
Seeing her frown that hard hurts my heart.
But not as much as being here hurts.
Sighing, I cross the room and tug her into a warm embrace. I am already a few inches taller than her, standing at a height that rivals my little brother even though he is growing rather quickly.
“I’ll find happiness,” I tell her while giving her a tight squeeze. When I step back, I add, “I swear.”
In the back of my mind, all I can think about is seeing Grams and Gramps. Although I desperately want them to meet Alex, I’m sure we’re better off not seeing them for a while. Not until I know things have mostly blown over. Alex and I can have a tiny wedding ceremony in the garden of the cabin where we’re staying—by ourselves if it suits us—and then we’ll hit the town for some drinks.
It’ll be the simplest the both of us have ever lived.
Once I have what I need, I leave my mother standing tearfully in the hallway. I pause at the large staircase, glancing in the direction where I know my brother is probably going over his miniature criminal empire. He’s just like our father. I debate whether to say goodbye to him in any official capacity, wondering how much he might report to the dictator lurking in these corridors.
It’s probably best to say nothing at all.
Once I leave, we’ll never speak to each other again. I’m turning my back on the family, something that would be considered a sin in his eyes. If I say something, he might try to stop me. I don’t want our last encounter to be the two of us arguing over something so fucking stupid.
I drop my bag to the ground with a sigh, making sure it’s mostly out of sight.
It might not be farewell, I think as I approach his office. But it’s something for him to remember for the rest of his life.
“Brother!” Mikhail announces as I walk into the polished office. “Please join me. Want a smoke?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“Ah, you look rotten as always.”
“And you forever look the thug.”
I almost smile. I almost give away the most important information of my life. How can I leave my brother like this in a life that neither of us actually wanted? Maybe Mikhail has convinced himself that this is the only way, that this life is fine for him, but it’s not. Extending the invitation to him would mean another mouth to feed.
But it would also mean his safety.
I sink into a chair near the window and wave away the clove smoke. “What are you doing so late?”
“What else?” He gestures to a stack of papers on the desk with his cigarette. “The basics.”
“Dad taught you well.”
“Fucking duh. What do you think I do in here?”
I shrug nonchalantly and pluck at an invisible piece of string on the armrest of the chair. “I don’t know…Hookers? Coke?” I pause for effect and shoot him my famously smug expression. “Lines of coke off hookers?”
“You’d like it, too, if you just tried it.”