I don’t miss the fear in her voice. I clutch the box in my pocket while we search room after room, coming across everything under the sun as far as fetishes. When Alex slips into a low-lit bathroom at the end of the loft hallway, I hear her high-pitched scream above the sounds of the party. I race in that direction, stumbling upon an unconscious Tomas on the tile floor.
Closing the door cuts off some of the noise, revealing the sound of Alex’s panicked breathing. I gently nudge her aside. “Hang on, baby. It’s going to be okay.”
“He…He’s not…Soren, oh my fucking God. Is that vomit?”
“Yep. Deep breaths, sugar.”
I cradle his head in my lap while pulling the box out of my pocket. After peeling the label open, I grab the bottle, positioning the nozzle in his nose. I administer the dose and then toss the bottle aside, counting quietly in my head.
A minute or so later, Tomas sucks a life-saving breath into his lungs while his eyes pop open. He clutches my shoulder while panting frantically, kicking his legs lazily. His eyes roll and he groans, falling into a shivering fit as Alex tearfully cups his face.
“Tommy?” He blinks but doesn’t look at her. “We’re even now.”
With my heart pounding in my throat, I lower my head and give silent thanks to the universe that I thought to bring Narcan with me tonight. Maybe some subconscious part of myself was aware that Tomas has been dropping off the deep end lately. Or maybe I just feel better with it on me. I don’t know, and I don’t care to figure it out.
I just want to get Tomas into the car and go the fuck home.
***
The car isn’t moving, but it feels like my body is racing forward, my brain hardly having time to catch up to what just happened in the last hour. It’s quiet in the cab save for the sound of Tomas breathing softly in the back seat. Every so often, he grunts or sighs and adjusts his position.
Alex is clutching my hand so hard that I can feel the divots her nails are making in my skin.
“I have to tell you something,” she whispers. Tires screech on the other side of the parking garage, drawing our attention. When the silence returns, she whispers, “I’ve been playing you all off each other.”
I take a sharp breath. “Couldn’t tell, sugar.”
“But now I don’t know how I feel. Tommy almost died back there.”
“He’s been torn up over you, sugar.”
She shakes her head, hair waving like a waterfall around her shoulders. “I’ll never get over Lev. I can’t lose another person…”
“I don’t believe you.” When she glares at me, I sigh. “I despise you. I hope you know that.”
“Why are you lying to me, Soren?”
I turn to her, fury burning in my gaze while I launch across the center console and kiss her heatedly. She’s as fervently hungry for my mouth as I am for hers, my entire body aching when her tongue darts forward to duel with mine. She’s soft and pliable under my touch with just a hint of submission, the way she’s been with me in the past.
Except this is different. This kiss is desperate.
I break away from her to whisper, “I want you, but I can’t have you. I’ll take whatever I can get right now.”
“Why can’t you have me?”
“Because…” I trace her cheek with my thumb, peering into those dark eyes. “You’ll be the literal death of me, baby.”