But is that really what I want?
With slow, reverent motions, I rest my mother on the tile floor, wiping my face repeatedly to get myself to wake up. It’s a nightmare. That’s all. I just need to wake the fuck up before things go south again.
But I don’t wake up.
I can’t escape my fate.
This is my life now.
After the reality sets in, I stand from the ground and retreat to the hallway, following my feet until I end up in a bathroom. I hold my stomach while I bend over the toilet, salmon and champagne coming right up. The acrid taste pinches my cheeks and makes me nauseous, causing more of it to spew until there’s nothing left.
I brace myself against the counter once the toilet is flushed and squeeze my eyes shut, trying desperately to find the light in the situation. I just need the lantern that’s going to illuminate the darkness and lead us the fuck out of here. One thing—that’s all I need to move forward.
A knock echoes at the door. I jump back and cover my chest, shrinking into the corner. “What?”
“Alex?” It’s Parker. His voice is low, cautious. “Come on, precious. We need to clean up.”
“No.”
He sighs. “Sweetheart, please.”
Fuck me, this is my life—sex, death, and destruction. Without a family to back me, I’m helpless to the whims of the world, floating aimlessly without anything to grab hold of.
“Hey.”
I blink rapidly, realizing Parker walked into the bathroom while I was lost in my head. His hands rest on my shoulders, lighter than they’ve ever been, more gentle than they could ever muster. How has he not touched me like this before? He’s folding me into his arms and I’m crumpling, unable to resist. It’s the only warm touch around for miles.
Tomas and Soren, I think. They left before it got really ugly. And where’s Osmond? Did Parker find him? Did Amos run…
My thoughts race, spinning out of control until my knees give out and I collapse. I slump into the arms of the man I’m supposed to marry tomorrow.
Guess the wedding is off.