“Why the hell would I do that?” She rubs her forehead lightly, her eyes glazing over as she glances toward the fireplace. “I wouldn’t marry that asshole in a million years.”
“I don’t blame you.”
She laughs dryly and then says, “Marry an egotistical and crazed man like that? Jesus.”
“That’s what I’m saying.”
“But you were going to do it, weren’t you?”
I shake my head. “No, I was planning on shredding the contract first, but she beat me to it. The bitch really has it out for me.”
“And now she wants me.” She pauses while dropping her hand into her lap. “Alex, I can’t marry that jerk. He’s selfish, controlling, and cruel. Who the hell would want to be around a person like that?”
Those words lance me even though they’re not directed at me. It’s then I realize the description of Parker also applies to me—where I attempted to shield myself from the horrors of the monsters I fought, I slowly and surely became one of them. I feel ugly while sitting in Evelyn’s cozy living room, where she shares a loving and uncomplicated relationship with her mother.
Feeling like a pest, I stand and cross my arms, heading to the window to stare into the yard. I can see why Marie loves to sit here. It’s a gorgeous view of the garden where flowers are starting to sprout brightly colored petals and stems. The scent of lilacs reaches my nostrils and draws my attention to the fresh flowers posted on the nearby table.
The whole room hosts loving energy that I notice missing from my home. Without my mother around, I’m hollow, left to pick up the pieces of my empire. But I don’t have to be alone if I don’t want to be alone. I can keep whatever company I choose.
When I spin around, Evelyn stands a few feet away, her expression curious. “Do you and your mother want to live with me?”
She flinches. “What?”
“It would be the perfect place for you. Marie can come, of course. It would give you the right protection from people like Parker and his insane mother.”
“Alex,” she says slowly, “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
I frown. “Why not? I want to give you what you’ve given me. There’s so much space. You can take an entire floor if you want. I’ll pay for plenty of things.”
“That’s not the kind of friendship I want with you.”
“It’s the offer of a lifetime.”
Cynthia wanders into the room wearing a gentle grin. “What’s the offer of a lifetime?”
Evelyn hesitantly gestures to me. “Alex wants us to move in with her.”
“Oh, I…” Cynthia chews her lower lip while glancing away. She shrugs and then focuses on me with a polite grin. “You know, that’s such a nice offer, Alex, but I don’t think it would be wise for us to live with you.”
“You practically lived with us once before,” I point out. “It would be different this time. You’ll have my protection and support.”
Cynthia shakes her head. “I don’t want us to be involved with the things you’re involved in.”
“And what would those things be?” I pose angrily while crossing my arms over my chest. “You realize Paulina Somerville has her greedy eyes on your daughter, right?”
“We’ll handle that however we see fit,” Cynthia responds as warmly as possible. “I appreciate it, Alex, but my answer is no.”
Evelyn nods, her expression drooping as she whispers, “And for me as well.”
“All right,” I sigh as I head toward the door. “The offer is there.”
When I leave, I feel like I leave a piece of my heart behind, the warmest chamber that could have possibly existed in my cold, cruel body. I’m truly becoming a monster. And there doesn’t seem to be anything I can do about it.
* * *
Fencing with Coach Neill feels like what I need to settle my nerves, but I can tell the atmosphere in the studio is different. Electricity charges the air as I dance forward and back, not worrying about whether I’m getting any of the positions correct. It’s a stark contrast to the anxious little girl who first walked into this room.
And I think Coach Neill can tell.