Wandering inside my home makes my concern double. I’m utterly void without Lev and my mother around, lost without the direction they provided. As much as my mother and I argued, we were still family, and that meant she still mattered to me. Losing her was like losing a key portion of my diet that I didn’t realize kept me healthy.
It almost feels silly to think we spent most of our time disagreeing with each other.
The doorbell rings through the foyer, and I turn around lazily to peek through the window. Amos stands respectfully on the front step, an improvement to him constantly attempting to access the mansion. I open the door slowly and study him cautiously. “What?”
“I heard about what happened at school today,” he tells me. His eyes burn with worry as he frowns sympathetically. “Are you all right, Alexandra?”
Though his concern softens my edges, it doesn’t fool me. “I don’t want to discuss anything with you.”
“We should talk, Alex. We need a plan.”
“I don’t need your help.”
Though I’m resolute in my decision, I step back and allow him passage, motioning for him to join me in the den. I order tea from the maid and settle into the couch, realizing how much I am my mother’s daughter.
“No, you don’t need help, Alexandra. You need nourishment.”
My brows dip together. “I don’t understand.”
“You might be an adult now, but you’re still a girl. You have feelings, and those feelings are going to get hurt. You’ve lost so much in a short amount of time, more than anybody can properly handle.” He sighs and rubs his knees slowly. “It pains me to see you suffer so greatly.”
God, it’s just like my mother—a little too paternal, a little too late. But I take to it easily, allowing my shoulders to droop and my guard to drop. It’s more than anyone has done to comfort me. It feels good, the idea of nourishment. It makes me wonder what might have happened if Lev had survived that attack and we had gone to England with our hopes and dreams intact.
“You need someone to nourish you,” Amos insists. “You need someone who will stand by your side and grant you more than just protection.”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell the boys.”
He nods with understanding. “Those boys only understand what their hormones tell them. And right now, all they want to do is bang whatever feels good.”
“Basically.”
“You deserve to be treated like you’re precious, not like an object.”
My lower lip quivers as I feel all those awful sensations rise to the surface—the insecurity, the pain, the deceit. Making that vow with Parker was necessary. But will it be worth the lashes I’ll surely get from his hurtful words?
Amos sits on the couch next to me. The cushions dip slightly with his weight and then shift as he scoots over. Though he’s relatively close, he keeps a respectable distance.
“You’re so much like your mother,” he whispers. “Strong, charismatic, passionate.”
My eyes brim with tears. “God, I miss her.”
“I miss her too, Alexandra. I know it’s hard to believe, but I did care for your mother deeply. Just as I care for you.”
When he rests his hand over mine, I sniffle, emotional from recent events. The pressure to be a proper leader is crushing me. I still have no idea where Coach Neill has gone and I’m worried about an invisible foe, one that refuses to show his face.
Amos squeezes my hand. “I can give you everything you need to run your empire, Alexandra.” He slides to his knees on the ground and rubs the back of my hand with his thumbs. “Will you marry me?”
Disgust sends me reeling back. I scamper away from the couch and back into the wall, cringing when he rises and steps toward me. “Fuck, no.”
“It’s your best bet. I don’t know why you keep denying me.”
“Because you’re a fucking pedophile, that’s why.”
He growls angrily. “If you didn’t walk around here wearing all those skimpy fucking outfits, then maybe you wouldn’t keep attracting unwanted attention.”
“It’s not my fault you’re a pervert. What’s going to happen when I grow up? Will you assault my kids?”
Fury warps his features as he shouts incoherently and lunges forward. He wraps his hands around my neck and pins me to the wall, cutting off my air supply. This isn’t anything like how Parker grabs hold of my neck. It’s so much more malevolent, a force of rage that will kill me if I don’t think—and quickly.
An ugly cry breaks free from my throat, only to be cut off with a squeeze.
“This was your only chance, Alexandra,” he hisses. “But you’re past your use here, sweetheart. It’s time for you to say good night.”
My eyes widen as I claw at his hands. He grins with satisfaction as I flail, my elbows knocking into a nearby table and sending the items on top crashing to the ground. I manage to get my hands between his arms in a prayer position and then grab his skull, digging my thumbs into his eyeballs. He screams and releases my neck long enough for me to kick him away.
I scramble past security, who heard the scuffle, and out the door, racing into the thickest part of the forest on the property. I don’t care that the sun is about to set and the mosquitos will probably eat me alive. I run until my lungs burn, until my eyes water, until I’m out of breath. Even then, I don’t stop. I can’t stop running.
It’s my only hope of escaping.