Her mother fell into stunned silence. Scarlett stared at her sister in shock.
“I mean…” With everyone looking at her, Bianca had to say something. Anything. “I don’t know what I am. Maybe I like guys sometimes too, but not right now. In fact… I have more experience with girls, not that it’s any of your business. And I’ve tried telling you, Mom. But apparently, I have to shout it to the whole freakin’ table, because you never listen to me!”
“Bianca,” her mother began. “You don’t know what you’re—”
“I’m not done! My whole life you’ve been projecting this image onto me, like I’m nothing more than your personal doll. I always had to dress the way you wanted, go to the events you wanted. I couldn’t even have friends unless youvetted them! You’ve always treated me like that. Like some porcelain doll who is going to shatter at the slightest touch.”
Bianca was already losing her gusto. Standing up to her mother, let alone making such an announcement to the whole table, was taking all of her courage.
“I’m not your doll. I’m not some songbird you can keep locked up in a cage for my whole life. You won’t even let me go to grad school out of town. It’s a really competitive program that I’ve been admiring for years! Did you know that? Did you ever listen to me talk about it? Did you ever offer to compromise? No! You want me here forever, constantly living under your thumb, existing in the way you want. Sometimes I swear you’re trying to live through me because you’re so miserable in your own life!”
For what had to be the fifth time that evening, silence fell over them. The only movement was from her mother, who glared up at Bianca, eyes suddenly clear and sober.
“You think I’m miserable now?” she spat. “You’ve never seen me miserable.”
Phillip put a warning hand on his wife’s shoulder, but she shrugged him off. Did he think she was about to strike her child? She’d never laid a hand on her children, but right now, nothing would surprise Bianca.
Instead, she pointed around the table at each and every one of her daughters, her hand shaking. “You all have no idea what I have sacrificed to be your mother. No idea!” She jabbed her finger in Scarlett’s direction at those words. “But you know what? This is all my fault. That none of you know a damn thing about me. That you turned out the way you did. All of this is my fault.”
She lowered her arm, her whole body trembling. Beside her, her husband attempted to calm her down. But she wouldn’t stop muttering under her breath in a self-destructive mantra. “Everything is my fault. It’s because of me you’re all like this.”
As her husband patted her reassuringly on the back, he nodded wordlessly to Bianca, gesturing for her to sit down so they could continue their meal. She had forgotten she was standing at all.
As Bianca sat, dinner resumed. Her father asked Scarlett what she was most looking forward to in her blossoming career. He asked Parker what was on the docket for her business in the next quarter. When their mother began quietly sobbing in her chair, Phillip put a hand on her shoulder while hastily asking Isabel about any upcoming art gallery opportunities. And did Julia have any cats that might be good for his retirement buddies?
All the while, Bianca sat in silence. To her left, forced conversation. To her right, a woman having a nervous breakdown.
It’s because of me you’re all like this.
What the hell did that mean?