Sinful Bride (Belaya Bratva 3)

“I can understand that you should have trusted me,” I interrupted, hurt that she couldn’t have told me the truth all those years ago. “I could have helped you disappear, Katya. I, fuck, I loved you. I would have done anything to protect you.” Back then, I would have done whatever it took to get her away from those that threatened her. Hell, I would have eliminated them myself, just like I had attempted to do for Naomi. At that time, nothing could have stopped me.

“I know,” Katya said quietly. “But I was scared, and you were just coming into your power, Gavril. That day—”

“That day I was going to give you a ring,” I forced out, remembering the way I had felt. I had been fucking happy. “You would have been the wife of the Belaya Bratva’s Pakhan. No one would have dared to cross my family or me to get to you.”

“I knew that too,” she answered, surprising me. “I searched your room more than I care to admit. I found the ring.”

I just looked at her, dumbfounded. She knew I was going to propose, and she still attempted to kill me? “Did you ever love me at all?”

Katya swallowed. “Of course I did. I fell in love with you, Gavril, and I know that you find that hard to believe.”

I did, actually. “So let me get this straight,” I forced out, my voice hard. “You loved me. You knew I would move heaven and earth to protect you and that I was willing to marry you, yet you still pulled that fucking knife?”

Katya’s chin lifted as she stared at me. “I knew you were going to kill me, and it was a better option at the time, Gavril. No matter what you would have done, I would have always had a target on my back, and I couldn’t put you or your family through that. I couldn’t let them get you.” Her voice broke and she cleared it, fighting against emotion. “I knew I couldn’t win against you.”

The truth in her words floored me. She had wanted me to kill her so that she could be free of her debtors. All this time, all my fucking life, I’d thought that Katya had never cared about me, but in her twisted, warped mind, she had been protecting my family and me instead that day.

Whether it was true or not, it didn’t matter. The outcome had still been the same. Katya had still died by my hand, and for years I had suffered with the knowledge.

“You gave me the death that I would have hoped for,” she said after a moment.

I clenched the arms of the chair. “You have no idea what you did to me,” I fought back, letting my anger come through. “I suffered, Katya. I suffered greatly.” I would never admit that to anyone else save Naomi, but Katya’s betrayal had nearly killed me, and if it hadn’t been for my sisters, I might have taken my own life over the loss.

A little smile flitted over her red lips. “But look at what you have now, Gavril. Look at what you have found.”

Her words struck a chord deep down inside me, and I blew out a breath. She was right. My past had given me my future, a future with Naomi. No matter how much pain I had been in back then, I would do it all over again to feel Naomi’s lips against mine, to hear her laugh or grasp her tightly against me when my fucking world was falling apart.

That was what Naomi did to me. No, what she did for me, and my past had brought me there.

“She’s exactly who I had hoped you would find,” Katya continued, heedless of my thoughts. “She’s strong and gives you hell when you need it. Admit it, Gavril, she takes you down a peg or two when it’s rightly needed.”

A ghost of a smile crossed my lips. “You aren’t wrong about that.” Naomi challenged me, which was why it had worked out between us. A lesser woman would have bored me, and I would have pushed her aside a long time ago.

Katya reached between our chairs and grasped my hand, her touch both familiar and unfamiliar. It had been years since her hands had been on me, and I had forgotten what it felt like. “I love you,” she said softly, her red-tipped nails resting against my skin. “I will always love you, but I don’t think I could love you like Naomi does. Even I’m willing to admit that her love for you is far stronger than mine could ever have been.”

“As is mine for her,” I admitted, my chest aching at what she must be going through. “She’s everything to me.”

My former love gave me a sad smile, her hand squeezing mine. “I’m so happy for you, Gavril, truly. There wasn’t a day that went by when I didn’t hope you two would eventually find each other, and now that you have, your future is very bright indeed. You will be surrounded by love, and that is the greatest weapon you can wield.”

I swallowed the emotion in my throat. Not because she agreed with my love, but because I felt like I was now getting the closure I hadn’t realized I needed from her. It was far deeper than just me having murdered her. I had needed to know that she had truly cared for me at least at some point in our relationship. “I don’t know if this is real or not,” I said slowly, returning her squeeze. “But I am grateful for it nevertheless.”

Katya’s smile grew as she removed her hand from mine and stood, stretching her body. “Well, now that we have had a chat, there are other things that demand your attention, Gavril. I’ve held you up long enough.”

I rose as well, eyeing her cautiously. “I want to go back.”

Her laughter echoed in the vast nothingness. “Trust me, that was the plan all along. No offense, my love, but I would rather wait to have you wreaking havoc on my peaceful existence.”

Her abrupt words caused me to laugh, something easing from my chest. “Are you all right?” I asked. “Are you happy?”

Katya smiled at me brightly, the smile reaching her eyes. “Of course I am, Gavril, and you are going to be as well. We have both found our peace, even if it wasn’t with each other.” She closed the distance between us and took my hands in hers, her touch featherlight. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “For the pain I have caused you.”

“Katya, I—” I started, but she shook her head.

“Do not apologize for killing me,” she stated firmly, her jaw tightening. “That was my decision, not yours. I knew what was going to happen the moment I picked up that knife.”

Fuck me; she knew how to make me feel as if I had missed the signs all along. There was not one time I had thought she was so miserable, forced to do something that she didn’t want to do. It hurt to know that now, but Katya had been right in her thoughts. If she had told me, I would have been obligated not only to protect her, but I would have put my own family in danger, and my life would have been completely different than it was now.

Katya suddenly cocked her head to the side, a sad smile crossing her face. “It’s time, Gavril.”