Except that it wasn’t. I felt nothing. Well, that wasn’t true. I felt the relief of knowing that I didn’t have to deal with Jon any longer, but that was it.
There was no remorse, no guilt, nothing for what we had just done.
What did that mean? Well, I felt like I had just gained closure to a chapter of my life that had been painful for me.
When we arrived back at the mansion, I climbed the steps to the second floor and found Gavril awake, waiting for me. “Well?” he asked, his voice full of worry. “Are you satisfied?”
I nodded as I stripped off my shoes and padded to the bed, climbing in carefully. “I hope to never witness anything like that again.”
Gavril pressed my head to his chest, his arm slowly sliding up to pull me as close as he could. “I hope you never have to either,” he said softly. “But I’m glad you did. This is your closure, my love. He’s gone. He can never hurt you again.”
The final crack of truth burst forth in my mind that he was right. “I should feel something,” I said numbly. “Why don’t I feel anything?”
Gavril pressed his lips into my hair. “Because there is nothing left to feel. Your emotions should not be wasted on that asshole.”
I couldn’t speak, tears clogging my throat, and when I cried against his chest, Gavril didn’t seem to be surprised at all. He just held me, whispering words of comfort until sleep overtook me.