I come with a flash, another lightning strike of pleasure. It blasts through me, sloughing away the indifference, the shame, the pride, all of it, leaving the quivering vulnerable parts of me exposed.
A hot tear slides down my cheek, and I grab his hair, easing him away.
He lets up, shifting to his knees. I can’t look at him as I drag my dress down my hips. I can’t look at him as I wobble to my feet. I can’t look at him as I stop at the door and say, “I’ll remit my payment tomorrow.”
I close the door behind me and stop, needing the distance.
When I hear the sound of retching from the other side, my newly-bared heart aches for a moment.
What the hell did we do?
17
MICHAIL
I let things go too far. My intention was to scare her. Show her what it means to pay for protection, the way so many people have had to do. It wasn’t a pretty decision made under symphony music and champagne. There weren’t diamonds and hors d’oeuvres. We had to fight, scrape, and serve in the lowliest ways for the tiniest bit of protection offered to us. If protection could even describe what we paid for.
I rub absently at the scars on the back of my hand, my stomach in knots as I wait for her to come out for breakfast. It has been an hour, and I haven’t even heard her moving around in there.
Yesterday, I might have barged in to check on her, but today, I can’t face her. Not when I can still taste her, smell her, feel her body quivering for my touch.
I can still taste the vomit in the back of my throat too, even after I brushed my teeth multiple times. It’s been years since I’ve had that reaction to touching another person. I thought I was over it, but this time it wasn’t about touching her. It’s about what I forced her into, what I forced her to do in the name of teaching her a lesson.
Guilt gnaws through my gut, threatening to send me back to my knees on the bathroom tile. Shame follows, tilling things up inside me better left buried.
We spend three more days circling each other. Anytime we end up in the same room, we avert our gazes and retreat to opposite corners. We don’t speak about what happened, or at all, really.
For some reason, it stings, like someone took a cheese grater to my lungs every time I see her. Each look she throws my way has barbs, and worse, I’d endure so many more to taste her one more time. To feel her body quaking under my grasp.
I’ve licked a lot of cunts in my day. When I got old enough for women to request me specifically, I got good at it, perfecting my skills so they didn’t ask for more, take more than I could survive giving up. For the first time, I actually enjoyed it. Each shiver and tremor I inspired spurred my arousal on.
But after my trip to the toilet, I didn’t allow myself the release my body craved.
Even three days later, I feel the need to take myself in hand and relieve the ache deep in my gut.
I can’t live like this. If anything, I’m more inspired to find out who is trying to take over her world so I can send her home. So far, my list is short, and I have little access to a few of the names there. At some point, we’ll have to return to Chicago and face things head on. I’m not ready to deal with that landscape yet, not until I can identify every piece on the board.
I sit alone at the breakfast table for the fourth day in a row. This time, talking myself into checking on her, when my phone rings.
I snatch it up and press it to my ear. “Hello?” Only Adrian and the Five have this number, so I’m never worried about checking the caller ID.
“You still at the casino?” Kai answers.
I keep my eyes on her door. “Where else would I be?”
Kai snorts softly. “Well, come back to the penthouse. We’ll review the details and regroup.”
My brain slides over his words, snagging on each one like the rough edge of stone. “What?”
“Did I stutter? Pack your shit, grab my sister, get in the car, and drive to the penthouse. What about that didn’t you understand?”
He’s being short, and that worries me even more. “Why now? We’ve been here for a while. What’s changed?”
He huffs low in his throat. “It’s something we can discuss when you get here. For now, just do as you’re ordered.”
Technically, Adrian is my boss, but he sends dictates through Kai often enough that I don’t question it again.
“We’ll be there soon. You know how light your sister travels. She’ll need a few minutes to pack.” Kai makes a noise like he wants to argue, but I cut in before he can. “You want to tell her to leave her belongings, because even I’m not brave enough to do it?”