I stretch, enjoying the tight tender sensations rolling through my well-used body. A hot shower helps loosen things more, and I stare at my dopey smile in the mirror for a heartbeat. Then let it slip away. No. I have too much at stake to risk it all for what? Good sex.
It’s a lie, and I know it. But I’m good at convincing myself that lies are true.
Though the upstairs is full of shadows, I don’t bother flipping the lights as I descend into the soft glow emanating from the kitchen. Michail is standing at the stove, clad only in his underwear, cooking something.
The scent of garlic and peppers reaches me before the soft pop and sizzle of the food in the pan. I quietly enter the kitchen and skirt around the edge to take one of the stools opposite where he’s cooking. He meets my eyes for only a second and then focuses back on his work. Sausage, onions, and an array of vegetables sizzle in the pan, creating an aroma which sets my stomach growling violently. I realize I hadn’t eaten the day before. Not with all the excitement.
“Did you get any sleep?” I venture, latching on to a subject that will hopefully allow us a conversation without a fight.
“Only a couple of hours. Your brother has been calling us both repeatedly. I haven’t answered him back yet. If he asks, I’ll admit to the attempt on your life yesterday, and he’ll back off some.”
I wave him away and dig the phone out of the pocket of my lavender silk pajama pants. It takes seconds to find my brother’s text string and shoot him a message. He might want to treat me like a child at every turn, but he needs to remember that I can take care of myself. I have been doing so for years. With Julia off killing people in various, creative ways, and Kai hacking his way, both literally and figuratively, through Adrian’s enemies, I’ve been left to my own devices.
The second I took my seat on the council, my parents jetted off to Florida, or anywhere the sun can turn their pale skin to a warm glow. I don’t envy their freedom. They served our community well for years, but they were my lifeline for so long, I didn’t realize how alone I’ve felt until Michail came into my life. And now I have to keep him out of all of this. He’s made it clear what he thinks of my world. He’ll never stand stoically at my side to create the partnership my parents cultivated.
It’s not in the cards for us, and I’m coming to accept it. For right now, I can have him. For as long as he can stand to be near me and touch me, I’ll keep him.
“What’s that look on your face for?”
His voice breaks my thoughts, and I drag my eyes from the screen of my phone to his tense face. He’s pulled his curls back, not in a ponytail but with a thin black headband, just enough to keep it out of his way. With his hair this way, he looks younger, and far more handsomely devastating.
I curb the lust which fires through me and place my phone on the counter softly. “It’s nothing. I was just thinking about my parents. I guess I miss them a little bit.”
He shuffles the food around the pan, sending another scent cloud between us. “It’s okay to feel things, you know? To love, to hate, to feel longing…” He trails off, and I wait to see if he’s going to elaborate.
When he doesn’t, I plant my chin on my hands and regard him sadly. “It might be okay for normal people, but not for me. Not councilmembers, not some of the society who keeps things running smoothly. You as well as anyone know how keenly emotion can be honed into a weapon. And those kinds of weapons hurt more than any other.”
“Is that why you’ve pushed your brother away all these years? Why you ignore your sister’s text messages?”
I glance at my phone, my mouth hanging open. “How did you…stay the fuck out of my phone. It’s none of your business.”
He cuts the heat on the burner and pours the stir-fry between two plates. “As I told you before, everything about you is my business, especially when I’m charged to protect you.”
This time, his dictate sounds softer, less like an obligation and more like a plea.
I nod and accept the plate he hands me. He ambles around to my side of the counter and takes the stool next to mine. Our elbows graze, and I ignore the sharp shoot of longing which rolls through me at the simple touch.
Fucking hell. I’m in so much trouble. I blow on a bite of the food and then take a tentative nibble. Flavor bursts in my mouth, and I shove a whole steaming heap into my face and chew fast. When I swallow, I find him staring at me, chewing slowly, methodically. There’s heat in his eyes and the tiniest hint of humor at the corner of his upturned lips.