I glanced at Arran. Concentration furrowed his brow as he ran, and I felt a little swoop in my belly as I studied his handsome, familiar profile.
Screw this.
I slowed to a stop, my hands resting on my hips as I drew in a breath.
Arran glanced over his shoulder and halted. He walked back toward me, breathing a little faster, heavier. He had this way of searching my face, and I couldn’t tell if he was memorizing me or looking for something hidden. “What’s up?”
Looking out toward the water, I shook my head. “Can we just walk for a bit?”
“Of course.”
Meeting his eyes again, I saw the questions within—he knew something was bugging me. Shit.
I walked with my eyes directed down to my feet, and Arran fell into step beside me, so close his arm brushed mine. Goose bumps rose on my skin in the wake of his touch. Surreptitiously, I tried to widen the gap between us.
“So …” I attempted to sound as casual as possible. “You never told me about Monroe.”
Feeling his stare, I forced myself to look at him. He appeared… uncertain.
“What is it?”
Arran sighed, running a hand over his hair, his biceps flexing with the movement and causing a rush of inconvenient tingles between my thighs.
I wrenched my gaze away.
“I, uh …” Arran’s eyes burned into my cheek. “I don’t know what I can tell you because I don’t know what happened between you and Brodan. If anything.”
Shocked, I stumbled to a stop and gaped at him. While I was pretty certain every member of the Adair family had noticed an attraction between Brodan and me, no one had mentioned it. Least of all Brodan.
Arran raised an eyebrow, but he had a hard glint in his eyes that I didn’t like. “Well?”
“Nothing happened between me and Brodan,” I answered honestly, surprised that I no longer felt bitter about that. A year ago, I would have felt a complicated mix of relief that Brodan hadn’t pushed for more than quiet flirtation, and bitterness that he didn’t feel I was worth working a little harder for. It wasn’t fair to Brodan that I resented him for it, especially when I had no intention of getting romantically involved with him. “We’ve flirted in the past, but that’s it.”
“You don’t have feelings for him?” Arran sounded gruff.
Something about that, and the way he looked at me, made my breath catch. My chest felt tight and my hands itched to touch him, and I didn’t understand myself or this attraction at all.
How could I have been attracted to Brodan for so many years and now find myself drawn even more powerfully to his brother? I felt guilty about it, like I’d led Brodan on, even though nothing happened between us—and even though nothing would ever happen between Arran and me either.
“Ery?” Arran persisted.
I didn’t want to lie.
Not to Arran.
“I was attracted to him.”
Arran frowned. “Was?”
I shrugged. “Was. And nothing happened.”
He seemed to let this sink in, and I wasn’t imagining when his shoulders dropped with relief. My stomach flipped at the thought of what that meant, and I wanted to be alone, so I didn’t have to deal with this complicated situation.
“So, if I tell you details about his romantic history, it won’t bother you?” Arran asked.
I’d seen Brodan pictured online with different women over the years, celebrity dates on his arm for glamorous events, so I knew he wasn’t a monk by any stretch. Once upon a time, it stung a little.
Now … worryingly … I didn’t feel jealous. Or possessive. Not like I’d felt when Arran picked up Monroe and hugged her like she was the best thing he’d seen in years.
That stung more than I wanted to acknowledge.
“Nope,” I answered sincerely.
He didn’t bother to hide the relief in his expression as he cracked that boyish smile that unleashed my butterflies. He resumed strolling, and we fell into step as he flicked me another assessing look. “Monroe is Brodan’s age. But since there’s only a year between me and Bro, as you know, he and I were close. So close, in fact, that … um …” He rubbed the back of his neck, looking a little sheepish. “The two of us were girl mad when we were kids. Started fucking around with the lassies really young because we looked older, so we could get older girls.”
I smirked, not at all surprised to hear those two were little Lotharios running around Ardnoch, breaking hearts.
“We even …” Arran sighed heavily. “We were selfish wee pricks and more than hedonistic. Ery, we shared girls.”
I raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“If I’d enjoyed a girl and she was up for it, I sent her Brodan’s way, and vice versa.”
Not liking that at all, I stayed silent.
“Arro tried to warn us that one day we’d hurt someone without meaning to, but we were so bloody sure of ourselves.”