“Does it bother you? Not knowing?”
“It used to when we were younger. Especially because we literally had no leads on who he was. We used to wonder about him, what his job was, if he was successful or poor, or, or, or. The ors and what-ifs went on and on. All we knew was that he gave us our eyes. Granny and Mama both had beautiful dark brown eyes.”
I heard the smile in her voice when she said, “When I was thirteen, I bought a pair of dark brown contacts because I wanted eyes like Granny.” She laughed. “But they were these cheap, nasty things, and they irritated my eyes so much, Granny ended up taking me to the eye doctor for drops. She told me that God had seen fit to give me hazel eyes, and every inch of my body was a gift I ought to be grateful for. She was always reminding us to be grateful for the blessings we had and not to mope over the things we didn’t.”
“So that’s where you get your strength,” I mused.
Ery sighed. “I’m not as strong as she was. I’ve moped for eight years.”
“No, you haven’t,” I said sternly. “Ery, you’ve kept it hidden out of fear of Jefferson finding you. That’s not the same as moping over it. Considering what you’ve been through, you’re a goddamn miracle.” I glanced at her and saw the soft smile on her lips. I wanted to kiss her. Later.
Looking back at the road, I asked, “Did you have many relationships in LA?”
“Romantic, you mean?”
“Aye.”
“Hmm. I’ll tell you, if you tell me.”
I shot her another quick look and saw the teasing quirk at the corners of her mouth. Chuckling, I shook my head. “There’s nothing to tell.”
“Oh, come on. I can’t be the first woman you’ve wanted a relationship with.”
Embarrassment crept up the back of my neck in a hot flush.
“Arran?”
“You’re the first woman I’ve wanted a relationship with,” I confessed.
She was silent a moment, and then, “There weren’t even longer affairs?”
“Aye, but do you really want to know about those?”
“I just … I want to know if there has been anyone who felt like more than a one-night stand in your life?”
I shrugged. “There were casual relationships while I was in Thailand and Australia, but they didn’t last longer than a month or two. The only one-night stand I’ve ever had where she meant more was Monroe, but not for romantic reasons,” I hurried to assure her. “She was my friend.”
“And Brodan’s.”
I felt that same remorseful ache anytime I thought of Roe and Brodan. “I used to call them Roe and Bro.” The memories made me smile. “Drove them crazy … though secretly, I think they liked it.”
“It’s cute.”
I shot her another look. “I told Brodan about you and me. I didn’t want him to be blindsided at the wedding.”
“I’m sure it doesn’t even matter to him.”
“It matters. He hung up on me, and things have been tense with us since.”
Ery sucked in a breath. “I … I can’t imagine that’s about me, Arran. Your brother …”
“My brother?”
“Well, he flirted with me a lot and was very attentive whenever he was home, but as soon as he left, I’d see him in photographs online with a woman on his arm. His feelings for me couldn’t have been deep.”
“That was my argument when I pursued you. That I wanted you more, and if he’d wanted you, he should have stayed.”
“Exactly.”
“But I’m worried that it just reminds him of what happened with Roe.”
“Does he know she’s back?”
“Aye, I told him. He couldn’t get off the phone fast enough.”
“Wow.”
I looked at her. “What?”
“Come on … it sounds to me like he’s still holding on to that. No one holds on to something that happened eighteen years ago unless it left a mark.”
“My thoughts exactly. It’ll be interesting to see how it plays out when he gets home.”
“Do you think he’ll see her?”
“It’s a small village.” I smirked. “And stop trying to distract me. I asked about your relationships back in LA.” At her silence, I said, “Only if you want to. If it’s too much—”
“No, it’s not. All this time since we started seeing each other, I was terrified that if I opened the door to my past, somehow it would swallow me up in this black hole. And it’s the opposite, Arran. I feel lighter than I’ve felt in years. So thank you.”
“You don’t need to thank me for that. The gratitude is mine.”
“Then we’ll both be grateful.”
“All right.” I smiled. “I can live with that.”
“As for relationships, I’ve had a few. You’re the first guy I ever propositioned for a one-night stand.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know if I should be honored or offended.”
“You shouldn’t be offended, you moron,” she teased. “I wanted you so badly, I asked for a one-night stand. Me. Miss Haven’t Had a Relationship in Eight Years.”