“Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell.”
“It’s okay.”
“Everything is … shit. It’s not shit. It’s perfect, it really is perfect. Life is a grand old thing.”
She frowned. “You’re not making any sense right now.”
“You know I’ve never cared about a single woman in my life.” She didn’t say anything. “Not one. There was my scarred brother, and me.” He snorted. “I got the chicks, fucked them with him, and left them to be taken care of.” Running fingers through his hair, he took a deep breath. “I didn’t give a shit about them leaving my brother. If he even cared about them. The club, it has been a way for me to work without worrying about shit. James, he takes care of everything.”
“Pixie.”
“Leonard. It’s my real name.”
“I know.”
“I used to believe life is just about living it. Settling down was for pussies who couldn’t get a decent fuck, so they settled for the one thing. One hole their entire life. Sure, they change it up, pussy, ass, mouth, whatever they wanted to do to pretend it was really living.” Pixie needed to get this off his chest. He needed for her to see that he was different. “Families were made to be ruined. They don’t have any common ground. They fuck, push out some little brats, and they go off, or are sent off. When Dane came back married, I told him he’d live to regret it. There was more to life than Lucy’s pussy.”
“You’re telling me everything you felt, past tense. Does that mean you’ve changed?” she asked.
He laughed. “Changed? Yeah, I’ve changed. I can’t even stand to look at Dane without being angry. Cora and James, the love they have, I envy it. Fuck, everything I used to be, everything I stood for—I hate myself. I hate my own past thoughts. Knowing that I could have been the cause for Dane to leave, it sickens me. He cheated on her, you know.”
“I don’t know Dane or Lucy all that well.”
“You’ll like Lucy. She’s got fire, like you, like your hair.” He reached out, twirling a strand that had fallen out of her bun. “When I first met you, all I wanted to do was fuck you.”
“And now?”
“I want to fuck you, always. But I don’t want to ever let you go.” He pulled her in close, breathing in her scent. “Sharing women never bothered me. They were easy to fuck, and when you shared, they were easier to leave. Two men, I could make my escape. The thought of anyone else touching you fills me with rage.”
“I take it no sharing or ménage sex will be in my future.”
“Never. I want you all to myself.” He pulled away, cupping her face, and running his thumb across her lips. “What started out as a one-time deal is not what I want anymore,” he said. “I want all of you, and more.”
“I think the club knows we’re together. If they didn’t, they’ve got a pretty good idea now.”
“I like that. I don’t want to hide anymore. I love being with you, Suzy. I enjoy spending nights watching movies with you, spending the night, eating food, talking, walking, all of it.”
She smiled. “Why, Leonard, you know how to charm a girl.”
“Ugh, can we just stick with Pixie? I prefer it.”
“I knew your name was Leonard, long before you started sleeping with me.”
“How?”
“Last time I checked you couldn’t put a nickname on a bank card. Every time you purchased something at the shop, you handed me your card. It didn’t take long to figure out you were Leonard.”
“I hate the name.”
“I think it’s cute.” She smiled, and it took his breath away.
You’re turning into a pussy.
“We better go in. I don’t want to miss the doctor,” she said.
“Why do you think she put you as the next of kin?” he asked.
“I imagine it’s because we share an apartment. Chloe and I are close. Really close.”