He holds me tighter, his arms like bands around me, my face smothered against his chest. At first it’s comforting and I relax in his hold. But his arms squeeze me even tighter and I suddenly feel like I can’t breathe.
“Colin.” I try and push at his chest, but my arms are trapped in between our bodies. “Stop. Please. Let me go.”
“Just let me hold you,” he whispers, his voice sharp. Foreign. “That’s all I want. Just to hold you.”
I’m struggling now, trying to duck under and out of his arms, but it’s no use. I can’t break free. Panic fills me, threatens to bubble out of my throat, and I part my lips, ready to scream. He slaps his hand over my mouth, silencing me. He doesn’t smell like Colin. The scent of sweat and fear hits my nostrils and I grimace beneath his soft, damp palm.
“Shut up,” he hisses, his voice reminding me of the guy who stole my purse. My panic grows and I’m thrashing about in his restrictive arms, anything to get out of his grip.
But I can’t.
“Knock that shit off,” he continues, his hot, heavy breath in my face. I wrinkle my nose. This . . . isn’t Colin. My skin crawls when I feel this strange man’s hand skim down my back, cupping my butt and hauling me close to his unmistakable erection.
Oh, God. This stranger, this unknown man, is going to rape me.
“You know you want it. Just let it happen. It can be our little dirty secret.”
Dirty secrets. I have enough of those to last a lifetime. I definitely don’t need any more.
I open my eyes to discover my nightmare is a reality. And it’s not Colin holding me too tight with his strong arms, his hand still clamped against my mouth.
It’s Roger.
A muffled scream escapes me, and he thrusts his face in mine, his golden eyes blazing with unmistakable fury. “Shut the f**k up,” he mutters. “I know you want it. You were looking at me all night.”
He was the one who looked at me, not that I’m able to tell him that. I can’t speak at all with his hand covering my mouth. My heart’s racing and I swear to God I’m going to have a panic attack if he doesn’t let me go. I struggle against him again, yelling the word please against his hand again and again.
His brows lower as he glares at me hard. “If I drop my hand, you promise not to scream?”
I nod furiously, willing to promise just about anything so I can breathe again. My muscles are tense, my body so rigid I’m afraid I might shatter.
Slowly he removes his hand from my face and I take a long, deep breath, exhaling through pursed lips. I’m shaking, trying my best to act like it’s no big deal that Roger is lying on top of me on his girlfriend’s couch. His hands are everywhere, his mouth pressed against my neck, and I press my lips together, breathing through my nose.
Oh God, he really is going to rape me. All while his girlfriend is sleeping just a few feet away.
“You yell and I’ll tell Angie you asked for it. That you came on to me. She’ll believe me over you. She always does,” he threatens, his hand gripping my left breast so hard tears spring to my eyes. I’m going to have bruises from the rough way he’s touching me.
He’s disgusting, and clearly he’s done this sort of thing before. Poor Angela! She has a total douchebag for a boyfriend. A douchebag who’s going to force himself on me and there’s nothing I can do about it.
“Your tits are small.” He squeezes me again, then delves his hand beneath my T-shirt to touch my bare breasts. He pinches my nipple and I bite my lip at the intense pain that shoots through me. “I bet you’re a decent fuck, though. And those sexy lips would look real nice wrapped around my dick.”
I can’t take it. I can’t. Shutting my eyes against his words, I think of myself not so long ago, on my knees and with a stranger’s penis in my mouth. How my brain would shut down every time I did it, how I’d become numb to the men’s grunts and groans, to the way they touched me, their hands in my hair, their guttural voices encouraging me to suck harder, take it deeper.
Remembering when I snuck into Colin’s office and gave him a bl*w j*b. The first one that I actually enjoyed. How powerful I’d felt, how much pleasure it had given me to see the rapturous expression on his beautiful face, the sweet, sexy things he said to me. His fingers delving into my hair, lifting it away so he could watch.
“Let me go,” I tell Roger, my voice firm. “Right now, or I’ll scream loud enough to wake up the entire building.”
“Do it and you’re fucked.” He laughs, the sound mirthless. “Both figuratively and for real.”
I don’t care. Maybe this has happened enough times that Angela will believe me over her boyfriend. I have to at least try.
No way can I let this pig touch me any longer.
Parting my lips, I scream, the sound loud and shrill in the otherwise quiet. A door slams open and Roger leaps away from me and off the couch just as an overhead light comes on.
“What the hell is going on?” Angela’s standing in the middle of the living room, her eyes wide as they go from me to Roger and back to me.
I sit up, tugging my shirt back into place, wincing when the soft fabric skims over my aching nipple. A shiver moves through me. God, that jerk is rough! “Your boyfriend jumped me.”
“Baby, she jumped me. I came out here for a glass of water and she attacked me.” He goes to Angela, grabbing her upper arms and giving her a little shake. “She’s been looking at me all night like she wanted to eat me up. Remember how I told you that before we went to bed?”
She eyes him warily before her gaze goes to mine. “Are you only wearing your underwear?”
I glance down. I’m wearing an oversized T-shirt that once belonged to Danny and it hits me almost at my knees, it’s so huge. “Am I asking for him to jump me because of what I’m wearing?”
Her eyes narrow as she continues to contemplate me. “No bra either, huh.”
Crossing my arms over my chest, I chance a look at Roger. His expression is smug, confident. Asshole! “I was asleep, Angela. I wake up and he’s lying on top of me, trying to kiss me!”
“Liar,” Roger murmurs. “You were begging for it, your hands all over me. You said you wanted to suck my . . .”
“Shut up! Stop it!” Angela screams, placing her hands over her ears, again reminding me of a little kid. “You need to go, Jen. I can’t have you living here.”
“Wait . . . what?” Did she really just say that?
Her expression is full of remorse as she drops her hands to her sides. “You’ll tempt him. Roger . . . he’s a recovering sex addict.”
Recovering, my ass! Does she really believe that? “Angela, he said he’s done this sort of thing before and that you always believe him.”
“It has happened before. He’s in therapy now.” She slowly shakes her head. “I’d hoped he was healed, but I guess not. It doesn’t help, how you’re dressed.”
“How am I dressed inappropriately?” I jump to my feet, the blanket falling away from my body and onto the floor. “Look at me!”
“Yes, look at you.” She’s wearing pajama pants and a matching top, completely covered from head to toe. I can tell she’s wearing a bra and her feet are covered in socks.
Weird.
“I can see your legs—and your chest through your shirt. It’s totally inappropriate.” She actually has the nerve to shudder. “You need to go. I can’t have you as a roommate. Roger can’t handle it, so neither can I.”
Funny, how Roger has clammed up completely. “I’ll leave first thing tomorrow,” I say firmly, ignoring the panic that fills me yet again.
Where will I go? Where will I stay? I can’t keep doing this.
“No.” She drags the word out, dropping her head so she’s not looking at me. “You need to leave. Right now.”
“But . . . where will I go?” My voice is small. I sound pitiful. I feel pitiful.
Kicked out yet again.
“That’s not my problem now, is it?” She looks to Roger, who’s standing right next to her. “We’ll stay in the bedroom so we won’t get in your way, but I’m going to have to ask you to pack your stuff and leave.”
“What about my deposit?” My head is spinning so fast I’m getting dizzy. I fall heavily onto the couch, trying to breathe through the uncontrollable shivers racking my body. “I need that money.”
“Nonrefundable. Didn’t you read the fine print?” She sighs, as if she’s the one who’s being put out on the street. “I’m sorry this didn’t work out, Jen. I had high hopes.”
I don’t say a word. I’m afraid if I open my mouth, the insults will start flying and I won’t be able to stop them. I’ll end up calling her every horrible name I can come up with and she might kick me out without my stuff. Now that would suck.
So I remain quiet, looking up just as I see Roger trail behind her down the hall toward her bedroom. He turns to look at me after Angela has slipped inside her room, his glittering eyes full of hate and lust. He flicks his tongue at me in a dirty gesture and I give him the finger, making him laugh just before he slams the door.
Jumping at the sound, I wrap my arms around me to ward off the chills. I guess Roger was right in what he said earlier.
I’m completely fucked.
Colin
Somehow, some way, my dad got the name and address of Jen’s new roommate within a few hours, just like I asked. I didn’t question how he did it. Didn’t really want to know, truthfully. My dad’s always had a bit of a devious, criminal streak running through him. He knows some shady characters. Gangster types the average person wouldn’t dare associate with.
But my dad isn’t the average person. He doesn’t give a shit. He actually believes having “those sorts of people”—his quote, not mine—in his back pocket is a good thing.
Scary.
I gladly handed over that twenty-five-thousand-dollar check to him, relief flooding me when he gave me the name and address on a slip of paper. I stuffed it in my jeans pocket and took off for Sacramento, letting Fable know I knew where Jen was before I left. Not caring that it was late at night or that it would take me hours to get there.
I need to get to Jen. I have to find her. There’s no way I’m leaving that place without her. We belong together. And if it takes me hours to convince her of that, then I’ll do it. I’m that determined to make her mine.
The drive was easy since it was the middle of the night and traffic was light. I find the street Angela Blackburn’s apartment complex is on quickly, thanks to Siri on my phone. I’m cruising it slowly, looking for the address and complex name, when the beams from my headlights land on a tall, slender figure walking along the sidewalk, pulling a giant black suitcase behind her.
My heart lurches in my chest and I pull over fast, rolling down the passenger-side window as I follow along beside her. She picks up her pace, her head averted, like she’s afraid to look at me. Probably thinks I’m some sort of creep stalking her in the middle of the night, not that I can blame her.
Fear grips my chest and I hate that she’s so frightened. What the hell is she doing out here all alone in the dark with her purse and her suitcase?
“Jen!” I call to her, and she stops short. I hit the brakes just in time to see her bent over and looking through the open car window, her dark gaze going wide when she sees it’s me. “Get in the car.”
“Wh—what are you doing here?” Her voice shakes and she looks scared out of her mind. It’s taking everything within me not to run out of my car, grab her, and sling her over my shoulder like some sort of caveman.
“I’ve come for you,” I say simply, shifting my car into park. I climb out and go to her, stopping right in front of her. She tilts her head back, staring up at me with so much relief and happiness in her gaze, the sight of it makes my heart swell. “You really think I can stay away from you, Jenny? You know I always find you eventually.”
Her eyes fill with tears, and seeing them nearly rips me apart. “How did you know I needed you?”
I melt at her words. Grabbing her, I pull her in for a hug, the tension coiled tight in my chest easing when she slips her arms around me and buries her face against my shirt. “Because I needed you, too. I can’t live without you,” I murmur into her silky hair.
“Oh God.” I stop her from saying another word with my lips, kissing her, swallowing her sobs, tasting her with my tongue. She feels good, so right in my arms. I can’t believe I found her so easily, walking down the goddamn street in the middle of the night, for Christ’s sake.
“What are you doing out here anyway?” I ask once I break the kiss, brushing the hair away from her forehead. I can’t stop looking at her, touching her. I can’t believe I have her standing in front of me. She’s been gone less than twenty-four hours and it felt like a goddamn lifetime.
I never want her out of my sight again.
“My new roommate kicked me out,” she says, her voice shaking.
Blood roars in my ears at her words. “What the fuck! Why?”
She starts to cry again and I gently push her away so I can look at her pretty, tearstained face. Reaching out, I brush the tears away from her cheeks with my thumb. “Her b-boyfriend tried to r-rape me,” she stutters out on a sob.
“Are you f**king serious?” My blood is boiling as I clench my left hand into a fist. Hell no, she did not just say that. “Take me back there. Right now.”
I start for the car but she grabs me, halting my progress. “No, Colin. Please. I don’t want you to get into any trouble. They’re not worth it.”