And who could blame him for that? She should have fought for him instead of walking away. He would have fought for her with everything he had. Styxx would never have abandoned her. Not for any reason.
Don't think about it.
She couldn't change what she'd done. But she could make sure that no one ever hurt him again. And she would. Even if she had to defy every god on Olympus and Katateros. No one would ever lay another hand to her prince.
Please forgive me, Styxx.
Yet even then, she didn't know how to reenter his life after all this time. What would be crueler? To stay away or to return to him and remind him of how she'd left him when he needed her most?
How could he ever trust her again?
For that matter, would he ever be normal? She glanced down to watch him sleep. Even unconscious, he held on to her desperately. There had been no accusation or reservation while he made love to her. That gave her hope.
Of course, he hadn't been fully conscious either. Still, it boded well that he might welcome her back.
Or curse her to the level she knew in her heart that she deserved.
January 12, 9527 BC
Coughing and weak, Styxx came awake to bright sunlight pouring through a white marbled room. At first he had no idea where he was, until he remembered the goddess who'd freed him from his cell. He pushed himself up from the ornately carved and gilded bed with bloodred curtains.
"Careful."
His head spun as the blond goddess helped him to sit. "Why am I so dizzy?" He glared at her. "Did you drug me?"
"No, I swear it. You have a fever."
That explained why he was so chilled and hot.
She wrapped a formesta around him and drew it tight to his neck. "Let's get you bathed and dressed, and then I'll take you home."
Pain slammed into him at the thought of returning to the arena. But he held it in. Whatever fun she'd wanted from him she must have had. And in spite of what she said, he was sure she'd drugged and used him. They all did.
Except for when he fought. For that and what came after, he was always sober. Because it would be too kind for them to let him forget that.
Weary and disgusted, he followed her back to the pool and quickly bathed. There was no need to stay here any longer than necessary. At this point, kindness was the cruelest torture of all, because it made him feel human. Made him long for things the gods refused him.
Warmth. Friendship. Happiness.
Dignity.
She put a gray chiton on him then took his hand. Dreading his return to Tartarus, Styxx ground his teeth as they left her temple and materialized in a barracks area. An instant later, recognition hit him.
This was Didymos?
"Highness?"
Styxx couldn't breathe at the sound of that familiar gruff voice. "Galen?" His knees buckled.
The goddess kept him from falling.
Galen took his other arm and slung it over his massive shoulders. "What did they do to you, boy?"
Words failed him as his emotions surged and Styxx realized that he really was home again. It wasn't a dream or hallucination. It was real. He held on to Galen and wept in utter relief and gratitude.
Galen walked him to his quarters and helped Styxx into bed. He pulled covers over him. "I'll get the physician."
"You can't."
Galen turned to scowl at the goddess. "He's extremely ill."
"I know. But they think that he's been here the whole time. How are you going to explain all the marks on his body that tell a different story?"
Galen clenched his teeth as he saw the old and new cuts and bruises. "What did they do to him?" he repeated.
Bethany wanted to cry as she remembered the way she'd found Styxx in his cell. "You don't want me to answer that question and I know Styxx doesn't. Suffice it to say, he's been in the hands of people who hate him for a long time."
Styxx ignored them both as his breaths came in labored gasps while he stared at the whitewashed wall with disbelief.
"Thank you for bringing him back."
She inclined her head to Galen. "Please remind him once he's able to walk unassisted that he has to..." She curled her lip in anger at what the Olympian bastard required for his freedom. "Make reparations with Apollo."
"I will."
And with that, she was gone.
Styxx looked around the room, waiting for it to vanish. "Am I really here, Galen?"
"You are."
Still unable to believe it wasn't a dream, Styxx licked his chapped lips. "How long have I been gone?"
"I'm not sure. What was the last thing you remember?"
How could he forget? "The betrothal feast. Father announced Ryssa was pregnant."
Galen went pale as he sucked his breath in sharply.
That didn't bode well. Styxx frowned at the old man. "What?"
"Her son is almost five months old."
Styxx gasped as he realized it'd been almost a full year. And there was one terrifying event he wouldn't have been here for that would have come and gone in his absence. "I'm married?"
"No. You sent the Egyptian princess home after Acheron tried to rape her."
Deepening his scowl, Styxx tried to make sense of what Galen was saying. "I'm no longer betrothed?"
"No, Highness. Not for months now." Galen swallowed as fear shadowed his gray eyes. "Where have you been all this time?"
Styxx winced at the memories that tore him apart. "Atlantis." He didn't elaborate beyond that. There was no need to tell Galen he'd been kept caged, beaten and used as a tsoulus and worse. Not that it wasn't obvious given his physical condition. There were bite marks and handprints all over him and in places that said exactly how badly used he'd been.
Sighing, he tried to come to terms with everything. The last time he'd been gone this long, his mother had died. This time, he'd missed a birth. "Her son's really five months old? What's his name?"
"Apollodorus."
Gift of Apollo. It was enough to make him sick. How could he ever call his nephew by the name of his bitterest enemy? Especially knowing that enemy was the child's father?
But he wasn't going to be like his parents. He'd never hold the child's father against him. Of all men, he knew what that felt like. No matter what, he would love and protect the innocent boy.
Closing his eyes, he continued to sift through the events he'd missed. Until he remembered something else Galen had said. "Wait ... I sent Nefertari home?"
Galen nodded. "I knew something was wrong. You haven't been acting like yourself, but I thought it was premarital jitters and battle fatigue. I should have known the minute I saw the imposter pick up your shield and fight that it wasn't you. He held it like it repulsed him."
Styxx laughed bitterly. "Don't be surprised if I have that aversion now, too." Because every time he'd touched one over this last year, win, lose, or draw, the outcome had always been the same.
Abject and public humiliation at the end of the fight.
"Yes, but I was able to knock him on his arse."
That would definitely not happen. Especially not after battling the larger Atlantean fighters they'd thrown into the ring with him. His skills had never been more honed.
Or lethal.
And still they hadn't been enough to protect him.