And he'd failed everyone he'd ever loved.
He pulled the sleeve of his jacket and shirt back so that he could touch the names of his wife and son. If he closed his eyes, he could sometimes catch a whiff of Bethany's scent from the bowels of his memory. But what he hated was the fact that he couldn't remember the sound of her voice anymore. He could remember inflections of it as she said his name or laughed. Yet not the exact sound.
She'd left him entirely.
I can't take another day of this....
And yet there was no way out. None. Strange how as a child forever had seemed like a long time, but it wasn't until you lived it that you fully grasped the horror of eternity.
The magnitude.
The insanity.
Although the Dark-Hunters he'd spoken to seemed to have adapted to the concept. As had his brother. But then, they weren't alone. They had a brotherhood where they looked out for each other.
The only one of the Dark-Hunters who seemed to even remotely understand Styxx's pain was the one named Zarek. In his dark, tortured eyes, Styxx had recognized a kindred spirit.
Styxx paused along the walkway that ran parallel to the river and leaned against the steel rail. His gaze dropped to the two clear plastic cups someone had carelessly tossed over the railing.
Discarded garbage ...
Like him.
At home in Didymos and on the island in Hades, the water had always been the most luscious shade of clear turquoise. Here it was a murky greenish-brown. Still, it reminded him of the sounds of home on hot summer nights when he'd slept with all the windows open and listened to the sea outside.
There was a child screaming behind him while an irate mother tried to soothe her, and was fast losing patience with the girl. He glanced at them over his shoulder. The woman had no idea just how lucky she was to have that child with her. But he wouldn't pass judgment on her for her irritation. His father had been perpetually annoyed with him, and maybe if he'd been blessed enough to raise his son, he'd have been the same with Galen.
But he couldn't imagine ever being cross with his child, for any reason.
If only I could have held him.
Just once.
Sighing, he gripped the rail and tried to calm the rage and grief inside him as seagulls cried out over his head, temporarily drowning out the sound of Zydeco and people in the background.
"Styxx?"
Silently, he cursed at the sound of Dionysus's voice calling out to him. He didn't say a word until the god came to stand by his side.
"You promised me an end to my hell," Styxx whispered.
"I know. I'm sorry."
"No, you're not." Dionysus didn't care any more about Styxx than anyone else did. He was nothing to the god and he knew it.
Dionysus turned so that he could lean back against the railing and face Styxx. "Yes, I am. For everything. Believe it or not, even the gods can have remorse. I should have never shown you to Apollo. I was young and stupid. Trying to impress my big brother. It wasn't until I was cast into this putrid world that I began to fully understand the consequences of what we do ... what we did."
"And yet you want to take it over. Rule it all again."
"I don't like being a pawn any more than you do. I've choked on my pride long enough. Like you, I want out."
Styxx snorted. "We're not friends or women. Why are you talking to me?"
"Because we need you to kill Acheron. You're the only one who can get close enough to him to do it. There's just a handful of days left to Mardi Gras. Help me finish this and you won't have to worry about Apollo. I'll make sure he stays away from you until then, and once you're dead..."
Styxx pushed himself away from the rail. "I better be dead, Dionysus. If not, yours is the first ass I'll be coming after." He headed back to the hotel with Dionysus trailing him the whole way. "If you're banned from Olympus, how were you able to free me?"
"Hades isn't part of Olympus. I wasn't banned from his domain."
That made sense.
Styxx held the door open and let Dionysus lead the way to the elevator. "I want full control of the woman. If Camulus goes near her again, I will gut him."
"I think he might have figured that out."
"I doubt it. He's even slower to learn than I am." Styxx stepped out of the elevator and headed back to the suite where Apollo and Camulus waited.
Dionysus cornered his brother without a word while Styxx grabbed a bottle of wine and went to his chest on the table. He mixed the wine with a very small amount of the Eycharistisi. As he worked, he felt Apollo's eyes on him to the point it made the hair at the back of his neck rise.
Glancing up, he caught the lecherous leer on Apollo's face, and it ignited his temper.
I hate you.
Doing his best to ignore him, Styxx poured the mixture into the thermos Dionysus had provided then handed it to the god of wine. "We're ready. I'll get the woman."
Camulus started to protest, but Dionysus stopped him.
Styxx's fury doubled as he saw Sunshine tied down again on the bed. Gods, he couldn't stand it. Grinding his teeth, he cut her free.
She immediately ran at him and shoved him back. Stunned, he didn't react for several heartbeats. But then he bolted to catch her before she could open the door where Camulus waited.
"Stop!" he snarled in her ear. "It's me or them, and believe me, you don't want them to touch you."
That made her fight even harder.
"Stop it!" he repeated. "I'm not going to rape you."
She tried to speak through her gag.
No doubt he should remove it, but knowing her, she'd scream. "Just calm down and everything will be fine." Taking her arm, he led her to the others.
Immediately, Dionysus flashed them from the hotel to an old, run-down warehouse of some kind. There were large paned windows, many of which had boards over them.
Using his powers, Dionysus conjured a small bed for the woman. Styxx pulled the gag from her lips as Dionysus unscrewed the Thermos lid. "I need you to drink this."
"You drink it, you bastard!" She ran for the door.
Styxx caught her then picked her up. On the one hand, he admired her bravery. On the other, it was seriously starting to piss him off. If she didn't cooperate, Camulus would insist on doing this his way. And she would be raped.
"C'mon," he said in her ear. "Swallow this. It's much better than what's going to happen to you if you don't."
Guilt stabbed him hard as she drank it, and he remembered what it'd been like when Estes had given it to him the first time on their hunting trip. How it'd felt when the Atlantean gods had forced him to drink it for their perverse pleasure. His anger mounted until he shook with its weight.
Once she was finished, he left her to Dionysus. He didn't want any part of tying her up or seeing her like that.
"Have you made your call?" Styxx snarled at Camulus.
"I took care of it. Did you write your note?"
He handed it to him then left. Since Acheron would be with the others who came to rescue the woman, he couldn't risk being here when they arrived.
But the problem was, he didn't know how to get back to the hotel from here.
"Styxx?"
He glanced over his shoulder to Dionysus. Before he could blink, the god blasted him and sent him back to their hotel suite.
That could have been a little more pleasant.
Of course, it could have been a lot more unpleasant, too.
However, the real unpleasantness was about to begin. As soon as his brother read the note Styxx had left for him, Acheron would come after his blood full throttle.
And who could blame him? The note was terse. Just a handful of words designed to make Acheron insane enough to meet them and guarantee that soon Styxx wouldn't have to worry about Apollo or anything else ever again....
I know you, little brother. I know all you've done. I know how you live.
Most of all, I know the lies you tell yourself so that you can sleep.