The Chase
Page 65
“Things change, sometimes faster than we imagine, angel. When I left New York to go out west and help Liam, I was only gone three weeks. It shouldn’t have been a big deal. Hell, some people go on vacations that long. But when I went back for Christmas, nothing was the same. My house hadn’t changed, like yours. But my family was different. They’d all coped just fine without me for the first time in over a decade. I was different, too. I was finally ready to move on.”
“That must have been a shock.” Empathy softened her face.
“Yeah, but it made me realize that sometimes, you just can’t go ‘home,’ no matter how much you want to.”
Heavenly sighed. “I’m figuring that out.”
Seth hated how much she was hurting, but if this trip closed off a potential future apart from him and Beck, then he was relieved. He gave her fingers a reassuring squeeze. “Let’s go inside. You can show us around.”
Revisiting happy times might help the healing process. It had been a balm after his dad’s death, for sure.
At Heavenly’s nod, the three of them climbed from the car, trampling the tall grass as they made their way to the front door.
“Every spring, I loved planting flowers along the porch here.” As she pointed to a spot where weeds now choked the ground, tears filled her eyes. “The air used to smell so sweet. During the warm afternoons, if Dad was feeling up to it, we’d sit on the porch and watch the bees gather pollen.”
“I’ll bet he enjoyed that,” Seth mused.
“We both did.” Heavenly sent him and Beck a melancholy smile.
As she led them inside, a dank, musty smell hung in the air. The imprints of her shoes from her earlier visit had disturbed the thick layer of dust on the hardwoods. Empty beer cans, fast-food wrappers, and glass from the broken windows also littered the floor. Cobwebs clung to the corners of the room, framing the neon intrusion of graffiti all over the walls.
A glance at her face told Seth the senseless desecration wrecked her. Rage bubbled, but he tamped it down and focused on Heavenly.
“This your living room?” Beck asked softly.
She nodded. “There was a couch by that stone fireplace, and Dad’s favorite recliner was under that window.” She pointed toward jagged glass edging the frame. “He loved that ratty green eyesore. He almost cried when he realized we couldn’t bring it with us.”
Heavenly led them deeper into the house, sharing stories of her simpler, happier life with Abel. Once in a while, a faraway look shrouded her eyes, as if she privately relived some special fragment of time.
“And this…used to be my bedroom.” She turned in a slow circle, dragging her disbelieving gaze around the space. “It was decorated in yellow-flowered wallpaper then.”
“I know all these changes feel overwhelming.” Seth cupped her shoulders. “But you’re not alone. We’ve got you.”
She sniffed back tears and gave him a valiant nod. “I can’t believe I’m here to spread Dad’s ashes and say goodbye. I always told myself that when I came back, everything would be the way it had been. Of course, I also believed we’d be returning after he’d been cured by the doctors out west, who were supposedly better qualified to deal with his disease.” She scoffed. “What an idiot.”
“You’re not an idiot.” Beck cupped her chin. “People with your dad’s condition don’t usually relapse, and death is rare. You had no way of knowing he would develop another issue entirely.”
“Even flying back here, some part of me was still hoping… But my future isn’t in Bayfield.” She stepped to the window that overlooked the vacant field behind the house. “I see that clearly now.”
“You might not know where you belong yet, but we do.” Seth sipped the fat tear sliding down her cheek.
“Between us, so we can hold you up when you feel fragile, like now.” When a sob escaped her, Beck folded her in his embrace, too. “We’ll carry the weight of your world when it’s too heavy for your shoulders.”
“Guys…”
Seth pressed a finger to her lips. “We know you made promises to your dad. But you’re not the only one. Beck and I vowed we’d take care of you.”
Her eyes widened. “You did?”
“Yes, and we never go back on our word. Later we can talk about what that means.” He caressed her face. “Now, let’s figure out where to spread your dad’s ashes.”
“Under our special tree. That’s what he would have wanted.”
“Show us,” Beck urged.
As she glanced through the window at the sun inching toward the horizon, anguish flashed in her eyes. “It’s time, isn’t it? I can’t put it off anymore.”
Beck shook his head. “We’re here to help you if you need us.”