The Confession

“They’d already taken everything that mattered to me.”

“So you loved Faith?”

“Eventually we developed feelings for each other. When we first married, she was only eleven. I was barely eighteen, but our father wanted an alliance with a sect in Montana, and Faith’s father insisted that his first daughter be someone’s first wife. So a deal was struck. Faith and I met for the first time at the altar at our wedding. She was dressed like a bride…but she looked like a child.”

“She was a child.”

Zach nodded. “It was one reason we didn’t consummate our marriage for over a year. I would have waited longer, but the elders began probing us for the reasons Faith wasn’t breeding. She got anxious and worried since she always felt out of place in Messiah City.”

Beck knew exactly how unwelcoming the sect had been to outsiders. “I assume it wore on her?”

“Yes. One day, she came to me in tears because some of the women had asked questions she didn’t understand. I knew if they figured out we hadn’t consummated our marriage, everyone would blame her.”

“Then she would be shunned.”

“Exactly. But I still hesitated. I was haunted by Blessing.”

That took Beck aback. “Why?”

“The night Father took her as his spiritual wife, he called Jed and me to their bedchamber. He told us that because we would soon be men, we needed to understand how we were to deflower our wives.” Grim apology filled Zach’s face. “Then he showed us.”

Beck went icy all over. That son of a bitch… He’d always known his father was bent, but this was a new low, even for him. “Holy shit. You couldn’t have been more than…what, ten?”

“Yes, and I was horrified. I knew you had feelings for her. I saw you kiss her between the clotheslines when you thought no one was looking. Before Father even took her to wife, I suspected he married her to hurt you. That night, I knew it. He was neither gentle nor considerate with her.” Zach grimaced. “Blessing had always been so sweet. I wondered why God was punishing her, why Father paid no heed to her screams of pain or her tears. Then he told her that he was teaching you a lesson. After that, I closed my eyes. I just couldn’t watch anymore.”

The ice in Beck’s veins turned to rage. “That bastard deserved exactly what I gave him when I slit his throat. I’m sorry he dragged you into his bullshit. No wonder you weren’t in a hurry to consummate your marriage to Faith.”

“But after she worried about her place among The Chosen, I did. She got pregnant almost immediately.” He swallowed like he had to shove down something painful. “Her pregnancy was normal. Her delivery wasn’t. The baby was breech. Faith almost didn’t make it. The blood…”

“At that age, the body isn’t fully ready to bear children. That’s one reason it’s illegal in the real world to have sex with anyone under eighteen.”

Zach nodded. “That’s about when Faith and I started sharing a bed again. After she gave birth, we didn’t… I couldn’t. I just kept hearing her screams. But after a few years, I developed genuine feelings for my wife. Unfortunately, God didn’t bless us with more children. I was okay with that because my Joanna was such a beautiful, warmhearted girl, like her mother. I can’t believe I’ll never see my baby smile again.”

When Zach broke down, Beck rubbed his brother’s heaving back.

Heavenly turned out the kitchen lights, then tiptoed into the room and set a cold bottle of water beside Zach.

“Thank you,” he croaked.

“You’re welcome.” She sent them a compassionate smile before disappearing upstairs.

Zach watched her go as he took a long pull from the bottle. “Heavenly is lovely, and she seems so kind.”

“She’s beautiful, but I fell for her because she’s got such a big heart.”

His brother frowned. “I know you and Seth both lie with her. Why? It’s so counter to the teachings you grew up with. Do you do it to rebel against The Chosen?”

“I can see where you’d think that, but no. The truth is, we both fell in love with her and it was tearing her up to choose between us. We tried to make her, but she was so torn that she let us both go. Since neither of us wanted to live without her…we compromised.”

Zach’s frown deepened. “Do you lie with Seth, too?”

“Never,” Beck insisted. “We’re friends and partners in Heavenly’s care. That’s it.”

Understanding dawned on his face. “So it’s like The Chosen, only in reverse. You each have scheduled nights with her?”

Beck shifted uncomfortably. He really didn’t want to answer, and he didn’t owe Zach explanations. But if his brother was going to live with them, he would acclimate better if he understood the dynamics in the house. “No. We’re with her together in all things.”

“At the same time?” Zach’s shocked expression made it clear he was trying to sort through the logistics of that.