* * *
Propped up in bed beside Heavenly, Beck read Seth’s reply when it appeared on his screen—and nearly lost his goddamn temper. Seth was turning down pleasure with their girl?
Fine. I’ll eat all the dessert myself.
When he turned to Heavenly, she drew back from the screen in hurt. Her smile fell. With one sentence, Seth had managed to kill whatever serenity she’d found today. Beck wanted to strangle him. What the hell was that dipshit thinking?
Instead, Beck banked his fury and plucked the cell phone from her hand, then settled it on the nightstand beside his. She needed love and reassurance, and he’d give them to her, especially since Seth wasn’t going to. “Well, it’s his loss. Come here.” He brought her close. “I told you to make sure you needed me later. It’s later now…”
He layered his seductive murmur with a caress across her shoulder as he brushed her silky-soft hair aside, fanning it across her pillow, then dragged his tongue up her slender neck.
She turned his way, eyes hollow with uncertainty. “Beck…”
“Shh. I’m here for you, to give you whatever you need. And I need you, too.”
He waited, letting his words sink in. She blinked as if she fought tears, then gave him a little nod and threw her arms around his neck, her eyes sliding shut. Yeah, she definitely needed him.
Beck rolled on top of her and claimed her lips. She opened and gave herself over to him. Thank fuck. He slid a hand up her body, settling at her waist. Since they’d been getting ready for bed, the only thing between her berry nipples and his mouth was her faded pink camisole. Nothing but her matching ruffled shorts kept him from the juicy spice between her legs. Everything inside him urged him to get as deep inside her as he could right now.
But she suddenly eased from their kiss and closed him out.
“Talk to me, little girl.”
When she opened her eyes, they were swimming in tears. “It’s not you. I love you. I—”
“I know. You don’t have to reassure me. Tell me what’s in your head.” Though he had a pretty fucking good idea.
“He’s pulling away. I know he’s been through a lot, much more than I imagined. But what if he doesn’t—”
Beck laid a finger over her lips, stopping her. “Don’t assume the worst. It’s only been a couple of days, and he said he needed some time to get his head together.”
“But I think you’re right. He hasn’t finished grieving the family he lost, and we’re pushing him to…I don’t know. Get past it? Move on before he’s ready? Something. But it’s been eight years. Why should he still be so hung up he can barely talk about it?”
“I don’t know. If he’d told us more, maybe I could figure it out and help.” But Seth would have to stop running.
She nodded softly. “What do you think set him off? For months, he gave no indication he was suffering from this trauma. He seemed fine the night before the battle. Better than fine, actually. Then suddenly…he wasn’t.”
Beck had been trying to figure that out, too. “He was even fine during the battle. Something afterward triggered him.”
“As we left the lodge, I thought it might be the dead bodies.”
He scoffed. “It wasn’t that. He had no problem adding to the body count. And after it was over, I didn’t see what happened. I was busy taking care of Dean. Most everyone else was comforting Ngaire.”
“Do you think it was her losing her husband that set Seth off?”
Beck sat back on his heels and thought through yesterday morning. Suddenly, the truth smacked him. “Oh, fuck. It’s Zach. I was standing right beside him when Esther said they’d killed his wife and daughter. I saw Seth’s face.”
Heavenly pressed a hand over the silent O of her lips, more tears pooling in her eyes. “Oh, my gosh. I didn’t think…”
“I didn’t, either. And I just asked my brother to move in with us. No wonder Seth is avoiding home.” Beck stood and paced. “What the fuck did I do?”
Heavenly climbed out of bed and followed, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder. “What you thought was right. You can’t blame yourself. You didn’t know, and you were just trying to help your brother. Why didn’t Seth tell us?”
“He probably didn’t know what to say. He probably thinks of this place as my house, so he felt like he didn’t have any right to tell me who could live here.” Beck reached for his pants and stepped in. “Fuck.”
“Where are you going?”
“To find him. I’ve got to talk to him. It can’t wait until morning.” Beck didn’t want to even whisper the possibility to Heavenly, but Seth might decide never to come home and he’d drift away for good.