Seth ate slowly, grabbing a second piece of bread before he finally pushed his plate away and raised his gaze to them. “Let’s go to the couch.”
His handful of blunt words stopped Heavenly’s heart—just before it slammed into her chest. She swallowed nervously as she rose, impatient to know what he intended to say. But dread prodded her to postpone what she feared would be his inevitable goodbye.
“Let me clear the dishes.” Her voice wobbled.
“Leave them,” both men demanded, then shared a glance—a moment of unity?—before heading to the sofa.
With a nod, she returned her plate to the table, then followed them.
Her thoughts raced. Would Seth leave them for good? Was breaking away the decision he’d come to overnight? Heavenly was terrified he had, but he reached out for her, guiding her across the room with a warm hand at the small of her back. His touch felt so normal. So right. Then he situated her between him and Beck, as he always did. He had even talked to them over dinner like it was any other day, as if they had no problems at all.
Testing the waters to see if she and Beck would still welcome him? Or was he softening the blow?
Her legs trembled, threatening to give out underneath her as she slowly sat, perching on the edge of the cushion and folding her hands tightly in her lap. To her right, Beck didn’t look much more comfortable. He leaned forward, like he was ready to fight at the slightest hint of trouble. But he still comforted her, resting his hand on her thigh in silent reassurance.
Seth fidgeted and cleared his throat. “After I told you about Autumn’s and Tristan’s deaths, I left you both with a lot of questions and I didn’t give you any answers.” He addressed Beck directly. “I know you’re worried I’m not willing to give you my whole truth, and that’s a sign that I’m not committed to us. That’s not true.”
Heavenly’s heart fluttered with hope at those words when he faced her. “I suspect you think I don’t love you enough to be honest. That’s not true, either.”
Before she could stop herself, her thoughts slipped free. “Then why have you shut us out?”
Seth swallowed and leaned over, steepling his fingers between his spread thighs. Then he looked down with a sigh. “Because I hate telling you how badly I failed—as a husband, a father, a cop, and a human being.”
“Someone else killed your wife and son, right? You couldn’t know—”
“There was any danger? I did. The perpetrator gave me plenty of warning. I just ignored it.” As if he couldn’t sit a moment longer, Seth vaulted out of his seat.
Beck met her bewildered stare, then watched him pace. “Ignoring it doesn’t sound like you.”
Exactly. Seth was a protector. From almost the moment they’d met, there hadn’t been a day he hadn’t done his utmost to look after her. In fact, he’d been overprotective at times, always tracking her phone. He’d even resisted her trip to Wisconsin alone to spread her father’s ashes because he’d been concerned about her safety.
At the time, it had seemed like overkill. Now she had an inkling why.
“The summer I made detective, I started working a cold case. It was a murder that had been unsolved for a little over eight years. The precinct kept my caseload light while I learned the ropes, so I had some time on my hands. But this case sucked me in, and I ended up spending every moment I could spare on it. It wasn’t long before I stumbled onto something I shouldn’t.”
“The truth?” Beck asked.
“Pieces of it, yeah. At least that’s what it seemed like. I never could get my head around the whole thing. But I was onto something, and I knew it. So did whoever wanted to keep it quiet. In the middle of August, a witness ‘suddenly’ had a heart attack. Over Labor Day, another supposedly decided, three years after his wife’s death, to commit suicide. I’m sure the killer was tying up loose ends. He probably thought the loss of witnesses would discourage me, and if I’d been thinking about it from the perspective of trying this case in a court of law, I would have been. Instead, it emboldened me. I was getting so close I could taste it.”
“But people were dying,” Heavenly protested, feeling a wave of fear for him clear to her core. “The murderer could have hurt you.”
Slowly, he nodded and faced her. “And when the threats started, that’s who I assumed he meant to hurt. I stopped investigating in September because Tristan had just been born, and Autumn was overwhelmed. Being a new mom was more…decision-making than she was used to. She got mastitis and had to go to the hospital for a few days until the infection eased up. My mom helped me juggle the baby while my wife healed, but work stopped until our family got back to normal.”
“You hadn’t received any threats yet?” Heavenly asked.
“Directly? No. But the witnesses being wiped out were a message for me. I knew that.”
“Yet you picked up the case again.” Beck raised a brow.
“I told myself to quit, that it was getting dangerous. But I couldn’t stop thinking about it. In late October, I started in again, right where I’d left off.”
Heavenly gasped. “Seth…”
“I began receiving threats immediately. Direct ones, in writing. But since the killer had always targeted the ‘problem’ and never their family, it didn’t occur to me…” He shook his head. “I’m sure that sounds stupid, but I was young and cocky. I thought I was somewhere between untouchable and invincible. I had a gun and a badge and a whole police force behind me. Even if I wasn’t the most liked detective—a lot of guys with more seniority thought I’d only been promoted because of pure, old-fashioned nepotism, thanks to my dad’s best friend, Gene, pulling the right strings—I was convinced the precinct would want to catch this killer. Any decent cop would, right?”
Beck frowned. “They didn’t?”
Seth shrugged. “They probably did, but my cases started piling up, and the brass made it clear that my first responsibility was to the new investigations, not the one least likely to be solved. After all, the department looked bad if I didn’t get someone in jail and on the DA’s docket fast. But that still didn’t stop me. I started using days off, taking vacation time… I was obsessed. The answer was right there. I could feel it. So yeah, I laughed at the first note that warned me to back off. I ignored the second one that told me I’d be sorry if I didn’t focus my attention on something else. In fact, the killer might as well have thrown down a gauntlet. No way was I giving up.”