The Confession

Seth clenched his fists. His body went taut, his shoulders so tense Heavenly held her breath. Had she ever seen him so close to breaking down?

“Seth?” She needed to know if he was all right.

He stood unmoving, refusing to face them.

She pressed her lips together, resisting the powerful urge to comfort him and tell him it was okay if he didn’t finish his explanation.

But it wasn’t. They all knew that.

Instead, she waited beside Beck, grabbing his hand tightly, praying Seth found the strength to go on.

Finally, he took a step, exhaled, then pivoted to them, his face a shockingly blank mask. “It was a picture of Autumn and Tristan in our kitchen, taken the day before through the window. It said ‘You should have listened. Merry fucking Christmas.’”

Heavenly gasped and gripped Beck’s hand so tightly her own went numb. He squeezed her back, looking shocked and sickened. Neither of them spoke a word. She felt faint and had to remind herself to take a breath.

“I got in my car and hauled ass out of there. I called Autumn on my way home, relieved as hell when she answered. I told her to grab the baby and get out of the house that minute, to drive to her parents’ place. I promised I would pack them some essentials and meet them there.”

His wife must have been panicked. Heavenly could only imagine how terrifying the urgency in Seth’s voice must have been. And the horror of knowing that someone wanted to harm her and their child…

“Oh, my gosh,” Heavenly squeaked, near tears.

“Autumn did exactly as I asked. I talked to her while she slipped on her coat, picked up Tristan’s diaper bag, and ran to the car. She strapped him in, backed the car out of the garage, and put it in drive. She was telling me that the streets were icy when I heard a deafening bang. The call went dead. I tried to reach her again at least ten times. She didn’t pick up. Then my scanner erupted with chatter. Car explosion. My address. No survivors.” He took a ragged breath, then finally looked their way. “My family was gone.”

Heavenly couldn’t move. The horror he’d been through sickened her, and she’d merely heard about the incident. Seth had lived it. At Christmas.

How had he ever survived?

And last holiday season, when he must have been reliving that nightmare again, she had told Seth in the checkout line at the grocery store that she liked Beck as more than a friend and sent him packing back to New York. She’d left him alone to deal with his annual grief and guilt, along with what he’d perceived as her rejection.

She tore free from Beck’s grip. It didn’t matter right now that Seth hadn’t agreed to come home. He needed comfort, and she was a human being. One who loved him, yes. But even if he’d been a stranger, she would have been compelled to throw her arms around him as she did right now and offer the only words she could think of. “I’m so sorry.”

Thankfully, Beck was right beside her, palming Seth between the shoulder blades and sending him the most sympathetic of gazes. “Jesus, I had no idea. I’m sorry, too.”

Seth stood stiff, unyielding and unmoving for the span of a few heartbeats. Finally, he buried his face in her neck and clung to her as if he couldn’t make it another moment without her. His fingers bit into her waist, his exhalations desperate pants against her skin. Everything inside her ached for him, and she offered herself up—strength, fortitude, and heart. Whatever happened next between them, in that moment, she was his, however he needed her.

Behind them, Beck eased closer, clutching them both, reaffirming the circle of compassion and understanding. He gripped Seth’s shoulder with one hand, squeezing to convey his silent sympathy. He clutched her hip with the other, giving her another lifeline of support to pass on to Seth.

Everything about the moment—both its beauty and heartbreak—filled her eyes with tears.

“Shh.” Seth pulled away before she was ready to let him go. “Don’t cry for me.”

Did he really think she wouldn’t sob for all he’d lost?

He cupped her face and looked deep into her eyes as he thumbed her tears away. “I’m okay. It was a long time ago. And I have no one to blame but myself.”

“That’s not true. You didn’t blow up your family.”

“I might as well have.”

“Man, you’re not the only one at fault,” Beck insisted. “Granted, you didn’t listen to the warnings, but the killer did all the heavy lifting.”

“Maybe.” Seth shrugged and stepped away. “But I’m not at the end of the story.”

When he gestured them to the sofa again, he clasped his hands behind his back and paced away, separating himself from them again. Heavenly cast a worried glance at Beck. What more could he have to say after he’d already ripped out their hearts? She felt more than a little guilty that they’d pushed him to open up about something so horrific and painful. But to understand him, they’d needed to know.

Beck took her hand and helped her settle on the sofa again as he addressed Seth. “From conversations we’ve had, I know you didn’t just grieve and go on with your life.”

Seth smiled acidly. “I didn’t. Autumn and Tristan were barely in the ground before I dove back into the case. This time I was unrelenting. Even though a psych eval cleared me to return to work, I took a leave of absence. I was going to catch this motherfucker. If he thought taking my family out would stop me, I aimed to prove him wrong. Now I had nothing to lose.”