The Confession

It was late when Beck finally left the hospital and stepped out of his Mercedes in the parking lot in front of Seth’s apartment. In the past few weeks, he’d been in frequent contact with Zach, checking on his transition from The Chosen to the real world. His brother seemed okay…but Beck still felt guilty as fuck for inviting him to stay at the house, then asking him to leave the very next day. It had been imperative for Seth’s mental health and the survival of their trio, but he’d hated it for Zach.

Thankfully, his brother had seemingly been okay for the past couple of weeks on his own, cautiously exploring his new world. Whenever he’d asked questions, Beck had given him straightforward, sometimes blunt answers. That had been working pretty well. But two days ago, Seth’s twin brothers had invaded the space he’d hoped would be a haven.

Zach had barely had time to find his footing in this totally foreign world, and now he was sleeping mere feet from strangers. Beck needed to check in with his brother, face to face.

Dashing off a quick text to Heavenly and Seth to let them know, Beck promised to advise them when he was on his way home. Seth responded with a thumbs-up emoji and a picture of his current location, the lobby of some swanky downtown hotel. Heavenly sent a heart and a quick message to say hi to Zach for her.

Sighing, Beck pocketed his phone and headed through the balmy night to Seth’s apartment. He knocked, not surprised when Zach answered right away. His brother’s appearance, however, shocked the hell out of him.

Two days of scruff covered Zach’s jaw. He’d shed his usual starchy button-down shirt for a dark graphic tee seemingly plastered to his body, hardened by years of work. His faded, serviceable jeans had been replaced by basketball shorts. And instead of boots, he wore trendy sneakers.

Had Zach gone shopping again?

“Hey. I thought I’d stop by and check on you. How are you doing?” Beck gave him another once-over. “You look…good. Different, but I like it.”

Zach stepped back and silently invited him in. “I’m well. As you can see, Jack and Connor insisted I find clothes that didn’t make me look, in their words, Amish as fu… Well, Amish. I didn’t know what that meant until I looked it up online. I like the internet. And I really like these clothes. Far more comfortable.”

“Good.” Beck followed his brother through the narrow foyer, past the kitchen, and into the living room, filled with the king-size sofa bed with pale, rumpled sheets. “Have the twins been sleeping here?”

“They have.” Zach hesitated as he sat on the edge.

So they’d left him the apartment’s lone bedroom? Good.

“Then what’s wrong?”

His brother didn’t answer right away. “Are they typical men of this society? I know they’re a few years younger than me, but…”

What the hell was Zach really asking? “I haven’t met them. Where are they?”

“Out grabbing food. They said they would bring some back for me, but that was a few hours ago.”

Beck frowned. Were they going out and leaving Zach behind because he didn’t want to tag along? Or because they were assholes, intentionally excluding him? “How are you getting along with them?”

“Jack and Connor? Good, I think. They’re trying to understand what I’ve been through, but they don’t have a frame of reference, except their father’s unexpected death. They were just children, though. They don’t remember much.”

If Seth had been sixteen, the twins had been five or six. They likely didn’t recall the loss itself, so yeah, they probably struggled to relate. “Listen, if being here isn’t working for you, I have another place. A condo on the beach. It’s really secure, so you wouldn’t have to worry if the press finds you. And you’d have the place all to yourself—”

“Don’t trouble yourself, brother. I’m doing fine here with Jack and Connor.” Despite the fact they were alone, he lowered his voice as if he didn’t want anyone to overhear him. “The struggles I’m experiencing are purely mine. I don’t understand where I fit in.”

“With the twins?”

“With this new world as a whole…but with the twins, too. I realize they go to college. I don’t think that’s for me. You know I’m used to working the land, maintaining a farm, and caring for my family. I felt aimless until I found that community gardening project I was telling you about.” He wrinkled his nose. “But I’ve been surprised by all the chemicals they’re willing to put on the food they grow. I’ve tried to teach them the old ways…” He sighed.

Beck figured that had been unsuccessful, based on his expression. “Out here, people want what’s fast and easy. So…did Jack and Connor poke fun at you for helping with the gardening project?”

If they had, Beck didn’t care if they were Seth’s brothers, he would smash their heads together.

“Not at all. They didn’t want to participate, and that was all right. They said they were city boys, which I took to mean they know nothing about farming.”

“I doubt they do. I’m serious, if you want to move to the condo, we’ll make that happen. It’s a bit farther from my house, but—”

“Thank you, but I’m fine here. I’m just trying to understand if this society expects me to be more like them than like me.”

That question set Beck back. Of course Zach knew who he was—in the context of The Chosen. For the first time in his life, he had the power to think what he wanted, do what he wanted, and be who he wanted. That much freedom all at once could be confusing, maybe even scary.

“You don’t ever have to be anyone but you, Zach.”

“Without the structure of the church and the town, I’m not sure who that is. I don’t believe what I once did. I still think God exists, but He’s not the deity Father, Jed, and the elders paid lip service to because they wanted to marry more and younger women.”