“That you didn’t rat them out?”
“No, and thank God I didn’t or I wouldn’t have had any leverage when they found us last night.” Seth sighed. “I mean that not all kids actually grow up.”
“Oh, I know. I’ve worked with immature assholes. Kathryn Hitch comes to mind…” he said of the nurse who had once tormented Heavenly during every volunteer shift.
“You’re right about her…but that’s not what I meant. I was speaking literally, not figuratively. Not every child makes it.”
Beck tensed. The conversation had gone from casual to consequential in a heartbeat. He probably shouldn’t be surprised Seth had caught on to the fact he’d wanted to talk.
“You’re right; not all kids grow up. But babies like those”—Beck nodded toward the glass—“are the future. They’re what keeps the generations before us alive and humanity carrying on. You and I are both pragmatic enough to understand that life doesn’t come with guarantees. Hell, the three of us might walk out of this hospital and a plane could fall from the sky, ending all our lives. I hope not, but fearing the worst isn’t living.”
“Aren’t you full of sunshine and rainbows today?”
Beck scowled. “I’m not trying to be morose, simply stating a fact.”
“Yeah, I get it. So what brought on this philosophical mood?”
“The future,” Beck replied, watching Catronia still trying to focus on her new world. “Our future. The one you’re dragging your feet on starting.”
“I figured that’s why you’ve been pushing me to take Heavenly bareback so often lately.”
“Hmm. And I thought I’d been subtle.” Beck sent him a crooked grin.
“Oh, you were,” Seth drawled derisively. “Like a Mack Truck. Look, I know what you’re trying to do and why.”
“Enlighten me.”
“We both know I’m the one holding up the future with Heavenly we hashed out at the lodge.”
“No.” Beck shook his head. “We all know, especially her. I’m ready. She’s ready.”
Seth reared back. “She told you that?”
“Yeah.”
“She wants to get married and have babies right now?” He still looked skeptical.
Beck nodded. “She said just that while you were in the john.”
Seth blew out a breath and started pacing. “And it’s my fault since I’m the one who can’t get over my shit.”
“Listen, I’m not assigning blame; I’m telling you how we feel. Besides, you can’t be surprised after seeing the longing on Heavenly’s face when she looked at those babies.” Beck waved a hand at the window.
“Do you honestly think I don’t want to give her a child?”
“I think a part of you would like to. But the thought of bringing another baby into this world terrifies the fuck out of you.”
“It does,” Seth barked, then paled as if unable to believe he’d spilled the bald truth.
Sympathy squeezed Beck’s heart as he clapped the big guy’s shoulder, leaned in, and lowered his voice. “You have to know this time will be different. You won’t be the only father, Seth. I’ll be here to help raise, love, guide, and most of all, protect our children. Trust me. If anyone tries to harm our family, they’ll have to get through you and me. And so help me God, I will unleash a hailstorm of bullets and die gladly before I’ll let anyone harm any kid you and I create with Heavenly.”
Seth didn’t respond, simply sent Beck a burning stare. Did Seth not believe him? Understand him? Or did he just struggle to have faith?
“That’s a promise.” Beck gripped Seth’s shoulder. “And I never break a promise. I will be there every day, every step, no matter what.”
Cooper still didn’t speak, merely seemed to absorb his words. Beck had no clue what he was thinking.
“Okay, guys. Raine is dressed and…” Heavenly shuffled into the hall, her words trailing off as she eyed them both curiously. “What’s going on?”