The Confession

Bless her for trying, but… “No, angel. I just need”—a hard fuck—“a good night’s sleep.”

She scooted closer again. The love and welcome in her eyes were a gut punch of temptation.

“If you want, I’ll tuck you in.” With a lingering glance, she kissed his shoulder. Even through his dress shirt, her lips seared his skin.

Seth swallowed. He shouldn’t take advantage of her kindness. He shouldn’t risk her thinking he intended to give her the children Beck had convinced her to crave. But he needed her too much to turn her down. “I’d love that.”

Beck cleared his throat. “After you and I…chat.”

Of course the bastard had something to say. He meant to protect Heavenly, and a part of Seth appreciated that. The other part wanted to tell Beck to fuck right off because the doctor wasn’t anyone’s daddy, least of all his.

He pulled his phone from his pocket and pretended to scan it. “On second thought, I have to go out for a while. I should check on a case.”

In the mirror, the surgeon glared at him, jaw grinding, but said nothing.

The rest of the ride home was silent. Undercurrents of tension—Heavenly’s worry and Beck’s reproval—swirled inside the cab, mixing with his own seething fury, as if someone had turned up the heat under his temper, nearly bringing it to a boil.

Finally, Beck parked in the garage. Seth was out before the doctor even cut off the engine and darted into the house. The smart solution would be to change out of this monkey suit, grab his car keys, and fucking leave before he said or did something he’d regret. If Beck got up in his face again, Seth doubted he could be responsible for his actions, and Heavenly didn’t need to see the angry side of him—ever.

As the door slammed behind him, he heard Beck on his tail. “Where the hell are you going?”

Seth didn’t even glance over his shoulder. “I told you. Work.”

“Wait,” Heavenly called from the door. “My surprise. I want to show you before you go.”

He gritted his teeth, grasping for patience. But he didn’t want to crush her. None of this was her fault. He nodded. “Sure.”

Her smile brightened the room and almost made him forget how fucking close his cool was to detonating. “I’ll be back in five minutes. Don’t go anywhere.”

When he nodded, she dashed upstairs, leaving him alone with Beck.

This ought to be fun.

Once he heard the door to their bathroom shut, Beck got in his face. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“You and your big mouth. Did everyone at that wedding need to know our problems? After you disappeared to have your little meeting with Hammer, Liam was all up in my business about the future—your favorite fucking subject. Not ten minutes later, Hammer beat the same drum. He thought he could commiserate with me because Juliet died pregnant. Then he wanted to rub my face in his happiness by telling me Raine is expecting his son.” Seth snorted. “That put me in a great mood. And as if that wasn’t fucking enough, your brother hopped on the let’s berate Seth bandwagon because he overheard you and Heavenly talking about the fact I don’t want to indiscriminately knock her up and add to the world’s overpopulation. So how about you just shut the fuck up and let me cool off for a bit, huh?”

Beck reared back, then growled like he was ready to throw down.

Good. Bring it on.

“First of all, motherfucker, I didn’t say shit to Hammer. Maybe your old pal Liam did. But I did not spew one fucking word. Second, I never meant for Zach to hear my personal conversation with Heavenly. A thousand fucking apologies. But let’s be real, you don’t give two shits about the world’s overpopulation crisis. What pissed you off is that everyone wants you to face your problems, so you’ve made me the scapegoat for your fears. And that’s bullshit. It’s time for you to pull your head out of your ass.”

“Oh, that’s real fucking nice. All of you sound like, ‘Hey, I know you suffered a horrific loss and that your whole fucking world fell out from under you, but would you do me a favor and get the fuck over it? Thanks,’” Seth mimicked. “Yeah, let me get right on that shit.”

“Maybe you should. Everyone is only ‘up in your business’ because they fucking care. And what do you do? Growl and snap before you bury your head in the proverbial sand. That’s not going to solve a damn thing. How long are you going to keep clutching the past in your tight fist? Long enough to let the future slide through your fingers, I guess. You’re thisclose to happiness, man. But it’s all about to get away from you because you’re mourning a wife you didn’t love as much as you love Heavenly. Is it guilt holding you back? I get that would be hard. It would be a mind fuck, for sure. But don’t take it out on Heavenly.”

“That’s not the problem. Before we ever took her together, I accepted how crazy my feelings for her are. Hell, this relationship will horrify my family, but I love her enough to risk alienating my mother for the rest of my life. The problem is my job. It’s not all cheating spouses and employee background checks. It can be fucking dangerous. Maybe you don’t get that because you work in a sterile environment. Maybe the smell of rubbing alcohol and disinfectant has gone to your brain. But you snap your fingers in the OR and people obey. You play God. And good for you. It doesn’t work like that in the real world. Bad shit happens every day. No one controls the violent chaos. I know firsthand it can be deadly to the people in my life.”

“We’re willing to accept that risk. So what’s your next excuse? The truth is, you don’t want to suffer loss again, so you’ve given up on happiness, on the future. Screw enjoying whatever time we could have together, whether that’s five minutes or five decades.” Beck marched closer, clearly on a righteous rampage. “Look, what you went through is something I’d never wish on my worst enemy. I completely understand that it gutted your life and that you feel responsible. And I’m so fucking sorry. But neither my regret nor your guilt will change a damn thing. Only you can decide to move on. But you’re too busy feeling sorry for yourself to even try.”

Seth’s temper flared hotter. “That’s bullshit! I don’t—”

“Go to therapy or look for ways to manage your emotions? Oh, I know. You just keep living in the moment without any thought to either dealing with your past or working toward your future.”

“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. Therapy is useless and—”

“Is it? How do you know? Are you actually trying to process your past? Have you ever?”