“Of course.” What the fuck did Beck think, that he’d simply been sitting around with his thumb up his ass? “I’m sorry I can’t just snap my fingers and be all right for you.”
Beck cocked his head like he was dissecting an insect pinned to a board. “Have you ever told anyone everything?”
What was he getting at? “Of course. The police know. My dad’s former partner, Gene, knows. You and Heavenly know.”
“But we don’t, not everything. We know how you wound up in Silas Nichols’s dirty apartment in South Bronx. But we don’t know why. There have been holes in your story from the very beginning, and I want some fucking answers. Why were you obsessed with the cold case that put you on his path? And who did you owe favors to in order to learn his identity?”
Seth went cold. He should have guessed Beck would demand all the details, especially the dirty ones. He’d been lucky to put the son of a bitch off for the past few months.
Time was up.
Pacing, Seth scrubbed a hand down his face. He didn’t want to carve open his chest and spill more truth, but the asshole would only keep dogging him. Fine. He’d unload this guilt fest. Besides, if he was going to put off having kids—probably forever—he should explain his reasons.
Swallowing, Seth paced into the kitchen, vaguely aware of Beck following. With his gut in knots, he stared out at the dark patio and the shimmering pool beyond. “The cold case I was investigating when Autumn and Tristan were killed? It was my father’s murder.” He sighed. “I’ve never told anyone that before now, not even my mother.”
“Holy shit.” Beck sounded shaken.
Seth didn’t dare turn around and look at the surgeon. Instead, he cleared his tightening throat and went on. “The official report concluded that he was in the middle of a drug bust gone wrong. And the whispers afterward were that he was on the take. Bullshit. My dad would never have sold out. He lived by a code. He always did what was right. Those rumors? No. Fuck no. Half the reason I joined the force was to prove that and figure out exactly how my father died. I had to know who lured him to the scene and why. The other half was to make him proud. I managed the first, but the second… I failed in every way.”
“No wonder that cold case was so personal for you.” Beck dropped a hand on his shoulder. “I’m not surprised you went to such lengths to clear his name. I can’t wrap my head around doing the same, but your father was a hero. Mine twisted the teachings of the Bible into a pretext for molesting little girls. But you and your dad were tight, right? I’m sure he’s proud you avenged him by offing Silas.”
Seth scoffed. “No, he’s turning over in his grave. After I lost my wife and son and turned in my badge, I didn’t just go dark, I became the dark. For over a year, I haunted every bar, brothel, crack den, and mob hangout. I got in bed with pimps, drug dealers, and mobsters until someone finally gave me Silas’s name.”
“In bed…how?”
Seth hesitated, then shrugged. Might as well puke up all the ugly shit. “I was their hitman. I killed other criminals for intel. And I slept just fine at night.”
Behind him, Heavenly gasped. Seth turned to find her on the stairs, wide-eyed, looking pale and shell-shocked. She’d obviously been standing there long enough to overhear things he’d never intended to tell her, things her tender heart probably couldn’t grasp…or forgive.
Fuck.
Then her “surprise” registered. The overhead light beamed down on the frilly pink confection she wore. It was so sheer he saw every inch of her body. Tiny bows held together fabric slitted open across her breasts, playing peekaboo with her tempting pink nipples. The baby doll floated around her thighs, barely concealing her pussy.
Everything about her called to him. Lust hit his system like a battering ram. He needed her to erase the darkness inside him. She would give him light again.
He charged past Beck, bumping the surgeon’s shoulder, and rushed toward her. “Angel…”
“Oh, my gosh. Seth…” Her eyes softened. She opened her arms to him. “I had no idea…”
Later, he’d unpack how it was fucking possible she wasn’t horrified and repelled. Even if she only gave him a pity fuck now, he needed her.
The instant he reached Heavenly, he cinched a hand in her hair and banded his arm around her waist. As his mouth crashed over hers, he surged deep, lifted her off her feet, and took her down to the stairs, hovering above her. He tore away from their kiss, panting, and tugged at the bow tied across her left breast. “I need this. I need you.”
Seth didn’t wait for her response. His animal urge to possess every part of her drove him. He swooped down and inhaled her nipple into his mouth, against the roof, and sucked as if his life depended on it. He circled it with his tongue. He raked it with his teeth. He tugged it until she gasped. He drank in her cries.
Jesus, she was the balm that took the edge off his pain. She was perfect. He just needed more.
Seth plucked at the other bow across her breast and drew her untended nipple onto his tongue as he encircled her hips and filled his palms with her bare, lush ass, fitting her against his near-bursting cock. Yes, as soon as he was inside her, balls deep, she would erase everything but pleasure. He would be perfect, too.
“I can feel the heat of your pussy,” he muttered thickly against her nipple. “I’m going to fuck you so hard. Drown in you. Disappear inside you…”
“Wait!”
It took Seth a moment to register the fact that the hands she’d laid on his chest weren’t caressing him but pushing him away.
No.He clutched her tighter, grinding against her cunt, his mouth seeking hers again.
She turned her head before he could fuse their lips together. “Seth, stop!”