“It doesn’t mean this can’t be the best damn thing we’ve both had before.” Roman put his hand on her knee, needing to touch her. He couldn’t quite explain it. “I wasn’t happy with you being in the hospital. I hated seeing you look so … helpless.”
“I got through it.”
“I’m not going to allow you to ever get hurt again, Alex. No matter what.”
****
Alex sat in bed, reading the same lines of her book and not having a clue what they meant because all she could think about was Roman.
What was his game?
She accepted that they meant nothing to each other, but he seemed determined to bridge this gap between them, but she didn’t understand why.
A knock sounded at the door, and she called for whoever it was to come on in. Antonio entered, and she closed her book. “Is everything okay?” Alex asked.
Roman had to leave a couple of hours ago, just after dinner. She got the opportunity to help with the kids. They had a set routine of how bath times worked, and to encourage them not to mess around, she organized a movie night, complete with popcorn. Sitting in the large cinema room, surrounded by kids, she had loved every second of it. Hearing them laugh, squeal with delight, and then gasp in shock at a small twist. It was an animated movie, but they loved it.
Afterward, it was teeth brushing and tucking in.
With Roman not around to boss her, she was able to get out of the wheelchair he insisted she sit in, and she’d helped tuck the kids into bed. The pain was on a manageable scale. She rarely took any pain medication because she hated how drowsy it made her.
“Yeah, everything is okay. I bought you some hot chocolate,” Antonio said. “I figured you could use some company.”
She quickly glanced at the clock and saw it was approaching midnight. “I’m going to be going to sleep, soon. Very soon.”
He smiled. “I know when I’m not wanted.”
“I don’t think you should be here. It’s not appropriate.”
“Look, Alex, I care about you. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“Don’t worry. Roman has already said the same thing himself. Only he’s told me he’s not going to let me get hurt again.”
“He has?” Antonio asked.
“Shocked, huh? I’m sure he’s just spilling words out of his mouth. You know, the whole word-vomit thing.” Just like she was doing right now to get him out of the room. Tapping her fingers against the book, she saw him staring at her. “What is it?”
“Do you care about Roman?” he asked.
She nibbled on the corner of her mouth. “I don’t know how to answer that.”
“I care about Roman. I love him like a brother. He has my back, and I will always have his. He’s never really gotten close to anyone before. Especially not a woman.”
“I don’t need to hear this.” She didn’t like the feeling curling in her stomach at the thought of Roman with other women.
Antonio placed his hand on her leg. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. He’s never like that with other women. They have always only held one place in his life and that was to entertain him in the bedroom.”
“I don’t need to hear this.”
He groaned. “I’m not saying the right thing here.”
“I don’t know, telling me that my husband used women for his own pleasure. I do think that is a great start.” It wasn’t. Not even close.
She felt a little sick. And she didn’t like the bad taste in her mouth. Was this jealousy? Why would she feel this way about a man she had no feelings for? It made no sense.
She hated it.
“I’m not good with words. I never have been.”