Finn squeezed his eyes shut, thinking he needed distance.
“I’m going alone,” he told her, his voice harsh.
Beah’s eyes widened with shock. “But, Finn...you can’t.”
Finn picked her fingers off his arms and stepped away. “Sure I can. You don’t need Murphy’s or me, and I sure as hell don’t need you. If you can walk away from me and Murphy’s, I don’t need you to hold my hand at my friend’s wedding.”
“That’s not fair,” Beah whispered, looking like he’d punched her. “You didn’t ask me not to join Michael, didn’t give me a reason why I should stay at Murphy’s. Why I should stay with you?”
Finn, fighting the wave of vulnerability crashing over his soul, hardened his heart and his tone. He shrugged. “You shouldn’t. We’re bed buddies, Beah. There’s nothing more to us than sex.”
“BS!” Beah shouted. “You know that’s not true. If you gave me a good reason to stay, to move to Boston, I would.”
Finn looked at the door and wished he was walking through it. He hated these emotion-laden, fraught conversations. They were messy and ugly and he remembered now why he avoided them. “I only want you to stay in Boston so you can keep sleeping with me. That’s basically it.”
Finn saw Beah’s flushed face, saw her hand close into a fist. Then she dropped her head. Finn bent his knees and saw tears sliding down her cheeks.
He grimaced, fighting the urge to take her in his arms. He could handle yelling but her tears unmanned him.
He was halfway to the door when Beah’s softly spoken words stopped him in his tracks. “All I ever wanted you to do was love me, Finn.”
He turned and saw her looking at him, her heart in her eyes, and his heart crashed and exploded.
“Back then and now, all I wanted was for you to love me, to talk to me, to maybe lean on me. I told you about Michael hoping you’d persuade me to stay in Boston, to try to make us work. But there is no us because you won’t let there be.”
Beah wiped her tears away with the balls of her hands and stared down at the wet streaks. “I should never have slept with you, should never have let you back into my life. Because you haven’t changed, Finn. Yeah, you’re bigger and maybe even more good-looking but you haven’t grown up at all, not where it counts. You’re still emotionally stunted, still scared of me and the way I make you feel.”
Every word was another slap, every tear another punch. Finn watched Beah as she straightened her spine, shook her head. She pointed to the door. “Go, Finn, walk away, because it’s what you do best.”
He couldn’t help the question because he needed to know. “What are you going to do?” he demanded, his voice hoarse.
Beah managed a small smile, cold enough to freeze the balls off a steel statue. “Don’t worry about it, Murphy. What I do, or don’t do, has nothing to do with you. Your job is to protect yourself and to hell with anything else! Be like that, but I will see you in Hong Kong. I will be there for Piper. I will witness their vows.”
“I don’t want you there.”
“I. Don’t. Care. This isn’t about us or our crumbling relationship. This is about Ben and Piper and not spoiling their wedding ceremony.” Beah pointed to the door. “Go, Finn. You know you want to. And after Hong Kong, I’ll leave your life, professionally and personally. And permanently.”
Finn, knowing that he couldn’t stop her from traveling east, threw up his hands in defeat. She was right. Piper and Ben’s wedding wasn’t about them. “I’m going to use the company jet to fly to Hong Kong. A driver will collect you. I’ll text you with the time.”
Beah’s glare slashed through him. “I’d rather swim to Hong Kong, thank you very much.” Beah brushed past him and her elbow accidently-on-purpose jabbed his stomach. “See you in Hong Kong, Murphy. And when we meet again, do me one last favor?”
He raised his eyebrows and Beah nailed him again with her sharp words. “Don’t bother talking to me. There’s nothing left to say.”