The Bedroom Business
Page 53
There was a note of panic in her voice. She heard it; she knew Jake did, too, from the way he reacted.
“I did hurt you.” He drew back. “Em, baby, I’m sorry. I—“
“Dammit, will you stop saying that?” Her face flamed. “Look, I don’t want to talk about it. I just—I want you to get off me.” He did, and she shot to her feet. “Where’s the bathroom?”
“Down the hall, but I can make things better, if you’d just—”
She didn’t let him finish. Instead, she tugged the bodice of her dress up and the hem of it down. She could feel Jake’s eyes boring into her as she made her way down the hall. Maybe it was just as well she was still dressed. Walking away naked, with him watching, would have been the final humiliation.
Why had she come here? Why had she done this? She’d never be able to look at Jake again, without thinking
Emily slammed the bathroom door behind her and locked it.
“Oh my God,” she said, in a choked whisper.
After a few seconds, she turned on the light, took a steadying breath and faced herself in the mirror. It was worse than she’d expected. Her hair was a tangle of wild curls, her lip gloss was gone, her mascara was smudged. She looked like a woman who’d been doing exactly what she’d been doing ... except she hadn’t been doing it very well.
A sound burst from her throat. Turning on the water muffled it; she cupped her hands under the stream. It was icycold; she gasped as she splashed it on her face.
Now what?
If only this were New York, she thought, as she dried her hands and face. Thank you for everything, Jake, she’d say. No, no, don’t get up. I’ll see myself out. Two minutes later, she’d be in the street, hailing a taxi or finding the nearest bus stop or subway station. Forget the snowstorm. Snowstorms didn’t stop anybody, in the city.
But she wasn’t in the city. No buses, no taxis, no subways. She might as well have been on the moon.
“Em?”
Emily spun around and stared at the door.
The knob rattled. “Baby, are you okay?”
Baby. What kind of name was that for a man to call a woman?
“Yes,” she said brightly, “I’m fine.”
“You don’t sound fine. Are you crying?”
“Don’t be silly.” Emily swiped at her streaming eyes with the back of her hand. She was crying. And wasn’t that dumb? Okay, so she’d made a fool of herself but still, why would she cry? “Why would I cry, Jake?”
“I don’t know, but I’d like to find out. Open the door, Emily.”
“No.”
“Emily.” Jake’s voice hardened. “Open this door!”
“I don’t have to. This is a bathroom. People are entitled to privacy, in a bathroom.”
Jake leaned his forehead against the door. Dammit, now what? Of course she was crying. He’d dealt with enough teary females to know what a woman sounded like when she was crying. It usually sent him running in the opposite direction but where could he run to? This was his house, the wind and the snow were howling outside ... and besides, it was doing funny things to him, hearing his sparrow weep.
Why would she cry? Okay, things hadn’t been perfect. He hadn’t made love to her the way he’d intended, so that it would last, so that he could seek out all her most sensitive places, hold her in his arms and watch her lovely face as she found the fulfillment he, and only he, could bring her...
He, and only he?
Jake frowned. What in hell was that supposed to mean? He was teaching Emily about passion. That was what he’d promised, what she’d accepted.
Easy. He needed a minute to get things in perspective. What had happened had thrown him. He’d expected Emily to be inexperienced, but a virgin?
No way.
That had come as a shock. No wonder he’d—he’d—
Who was he kidding? He’d lost control. That had never happened to him before, not since he was a kid. He loved sex: the musky scents; the hot, whispered sounds; the swift rocket-ride to the stars, but a little piece of him always stayed outside, kind of like an observer. What had happened to that observer this time? How come, at the end, nothing had mattered but being deep inside Emily?
The answer was simple. All that prim propriety, hiding all that heat. What man wouldn’t lose control? What man wouldn’t find the experience exceptional?
In fact, he wanted her again. Right now. The truth was, he hadn’t stopped wanting her, even after they’d both come. Did she know how rare that was, that a man and a woman found release at the same instant? No. She wouldn’t know. She was so innocent. So...