“It is. But I wanted to talk to you.”
“What if I don’t feel like talking?” I asked, taking a step closer to her and crowding her with my body.
She had to tip her head back to hold my gaze. I knew she wanted me; she was practically vibrating with it. But she was also determined not to give in. Her eyes searched mine, a small furrow appearing between her brows.
“Why are you avoiding me?”
“I’m not avoiding you.”Liar, liar.
“So it’s normal for you to dine and dash then? You couldn’t get out of dinner fast enough last night. You didn’t even eat or say goodbye. You just answered your special magic phone and bolted. I texted you on your not magic phone, but you didn’t answer. I’m worried.”
Guilt ate at me, bringing everything bubbling back up to the surface. “I know, I’m sorry. I just had a lot to think through.”
“About going home?”
Her voice was so hesitant, her body held so carefully, as if she was bracing herself for terrible news. It physically hurt me to see her like this. The need to reassure her filled me, even as my own insecurities buzzed in my head like a swarm of angry bees.
I rested my palm against her cheek, weaving the tips of my fingers through her hair. “Yes.”
Her eyes shuttered. “Oh.”
I swept my thumb over her lips. “I was trying to figure out a way to explain to my family why I’m not going back.”
Hope turned her eyes a brilliant cerulean. Gods, she was so fucking beautiful it made my heart ache.
“You’re not? But that woman said—”
“I know. I’m not afraid of what she said. I’m afraid of losing you.”
“You’re not going to lose me.”
The promise was everything I wanted to hear but not enough to assuage my own doubt.
“Are you sure you want this? I can’t make you choose me over your family. I know how much they mean to you. I don’t want to damage your relationship with them.”
“Youaremy family. And if they love me like I know they do, they’ll understand. They’ll accept my decision. Even if I’m not as connected to you as I want to be.”
“Alek?” she asked, seeing straight through me.
I stepped back. “It’s nothing.”
“No, it’s not. What is that look in your eyes? Why do you look like you’re pulling back even though you just told me you’re staying?”
Because I am, dammit.
This kind of insecurity was new to me. It had me doubting my place, questioning my worth. I was born a damn prince of my people, for Odin’s sake. I’ve never doubted my value in my entire life. And yet here I was, desperate to carve out a space for myself in her heart. Worried I didn’t matter enough to belong there.
My focus landed on the mark on her neck, fully healed but still present, now two raised sets of bite marks.
Her brows dropped low, and she nervously fingered the proof of her double bond. “Do these bother you?”
“Bother me? No. And yes.” I sighed, shoving my hands through my hair.
“Why?”
“Because it’s the one thing I can’t give you!” The words exploded out of me. I tore my gaze from her, ashamed that I couldn’t control my emotions. “I can fight for you, fucking die for you, but I can’t bond with you like they did.”
“Alek...”