ChapterSeventeen
CALEB
“Fecking hell.”
I looked up from my book as the clock chimed, signaling the start of a new hour and reminding me I was now running late for a meeting with the headmistress. She’d been even cooler toward me than usual since everyone returned from the holiday break, her icy demeanor now resembling that of a glacier rather than a blizzard.
But tonight was our first official staff meeting of the new year. The five new professors who’d arrived to replace those we lost during the demon attacks needed to settle in, and what better way to do that than an awkward as arse mixer in the headmistress’ office?
Slamming my book closed, I hurried out of my office, not keen on eliciting more of Antoinette’s wrath than necessary. She’d already been on the warpath; no need to draw her attention my way if it could be avoided.
My footsteps were silent as I rushed through the halls, but I came to an unexpected stop as the heady scent of lilacs washed over me.
Sunday.
I waited in the shadows, like the skulking monster she teased me about being, until she rounded the corner. Her skin was damn near glowing, radiant and healthy, and a part of me couldn’t be prouder that she was doing so well. The other part resented that she was thriving without me. Even though our separation was due to my request and not her own preference.
‘I’m never going to be able to let you go.’She was the one who said it, but they were the exact words lingering in my heart. The ones I could never voice. They opened up the gnawing pit in my stomach, a reminder that this separation between us was unnatural. A wound of my own making, no matter how necessary.
I knew she was staying away because I asked her to. Still, it would have been nice to know she felt the effects of my absence as much as I felt hers.
As Thorne and Kingston came into view, it was easy to see why she hadn’t noticed me. One played with the ends of her hair, tickling her neck and making her laugh, while the other held her hand and casually ran his thumb along the back. Their easy affection made me ache for the same.
I’d had seven blissful nights with her before she left. Each one filled with the intimacy she craved and the promise of a future I couldn’t give her. It should’ve been enough. But it wasn’t. Not when I’d had a taste of the thing I wanted more than anything. Even my godforsaken soul. Playing house with her was dangerous. It was why I hadn’t seen her alone again since that night in the church. I couldn’t face her. The temptation to give in to her was impossible to resist. The only way I could keep my resolve strong was to stay away altogether.
It should have been easier, perhaps, knowing she was well taken care of by the others. The proof of their care was staring me in the face. She was happy. Loved.
She didn’t need me.
So why couldn’t I let her go?
As she passed, her head turned toward me, eyes finding mine even in the darkness. My fecking heart stuttered. It throbbed painfully, the pulse I hadn’t had as a vampire until I met her racing unsteadily. But I couldn’t stay, not when the headmistress was already waiting on me. I shook my head as I stepped into the hall and tore my gaze from Sunday’s.
But not before seeing the flicker of pain my leaving caused. So she wasn’t as unaffected as she appeared.
My foolish heart clung to the knowledge.
Fool.
We’d only hurt each other in the end. No, that wasn’t right.I’donly hurther.
“Father Gallagher, I was just starting to think you weren’t coming.”
I snapped to attention at Antoinette’s dry tone. “You know how needy our students can be. It’s not always easy to extract myself from their clutches.”
She raised a mocking brow, not buying my excuse for a second. “Ah yes, and you are so good about tending to your flock.”
The back of my neck prickled with unease at her pointed statement. “Can we get on with this, then? I am a very busy man and am afraid I don’t have time for parties.”
“What could possibly be more important than meeting your new colleagues?”
Anything else.
Stepping past the statuesque woman, I entered her domain, an office disguised as a fecking faerie land. It reminded me of the story I told Sunday, but that was a fairy tale. This place was laced with an air of darkness. Everyone knew not to trust the fae.
She breezed past me, the door shutting behind her with a small wave of her hand. “Now that we’re all here, we can begin the festivities. As you may have noticed, there are some new faces among our ranks. Before the term gets fully underway, I thought it best to give you this chance to mingle and get to know one another. Our greatest allies are here in this room. We need them now more than ever. It appears the world is ending. At least, if the demons and the fae are to be believed.” She smiled slightly, making the words seem as though they were a joke.
But knowing that she was also part of the Society, I was perhaps the only other person in the room to realize she was telling the truth.