Crap.
Using what I remember, I sidestep so she punches past me, then grab her arm and use her momentum to help her along. She stumbles forward, loses her balance and slams into the counter with a thud that rattles the pots and pans hanging over it. I think she hit her head, because she sags, her legs giving out until she's sitting on the floor and whimpering.
That was way more effective than I expected. Maybe I've got a shot at this after all.
Too much time admiring my handiwork, too little time paying attention to the others. Janey and Alexis throw themselves on my arms and slam me into one of the counters. The hard edge digs into my back, forcing air out of my lungs. That's going to hurt like a bitch in the morning. If I get to see another morning.
Alexis gets right up in my face. “We're going to fuck you up so bad even your fancy-ass dad won't recognize you.”
My aikido instructor always told me it was a last resort move and it would hurt me at least as much as it hurts my opponent, but sometimes you do what you gotta do. She was a woman with a practical outlook on style purity.
I draw a quick breath, building my courage, and pull away as far from Alexis as I can before I brace a foot against the counter and lunge forward. My forehead slams into her face with a meaty crunch. It hurts like crazy and I'm seeing stars, but she screams and lets go of me.
“Alexis!” yells Janey, and while she's distracted, I tug my arm free and spin around. This time I'm not going to give them time to jump me.
“My nose! My fucking nose!” Alexis uses the kitchen island for support as she slides down with her back against it. Blood is spurting from between her fingers, coating her cheeks and giving her crop top a macabre tie-dye sort of appearance. Holy shit.
Metal rings as Janey yanks the kitchen knife off the magnetic rack, and she sneers like a furious wildcat. “I'm going to fucking kill you.” She waves the blade in front of her as she approaches. “I'm going to slice you into fucking ribbons and feed you to Jupiter.” Her eyes have gone wild, and to top it all off, Zoe's picking herself back up. I'm about to face two angry women, one of which has gone crazy and is holding a knife.
Where the hell are the guys when I need them?
27
WILD CHILD
Where the fuck is Emily? She was just going for a snack, but the door to the kitchen's closed and she's nowhere in sight. She's got to be in there, right?
I throw the door open. “Hey, Emily, did you get lost or—” I cut off mid-sentence as I see what's going on. “What the fuck?”
On one side of the room, Emily's holding up a frying pan like she's planning to bash in someone's skull with it. By the kitchen island, Alexis is crying on the floor with her face spurting blood. On the other side, Zoe and Janey are threatening Emily, and Janey's got a fucking chef's knife in her hand, ready to julienne a bitch.
“This is slut business,” snarls Janey. She doesn't even look in my direction. “Keep out of it.”
“Fuck that. Drop the fucking knife.” Jesus, and they say I'm the crazy one around here. Sure, I love to fuck around and joke at everything, but I think even King would be proud of the authority in my voice right now. “If you guys need to settle something, fine, but I'm not letting you guys fucking kill each other. Not in the damn clubhouse. And Emily not at all.”
“Fuck you, Wild Child.” Janey waves the knife.
Is she fucking stupid? “Drop the fucking knife, and you girls can settle this unarmed. One on one.”
Emily's gaze, which was locked on Janey's knife, snaps to me. “What? You're not going to save me?”
Janey laughs dryly. “And you won't interfere?”
Even if Emily's not one of the sluts, there's a hierarchy among the women. Unless she settles it, this shit is going to keep happening. “Sort it out like normal people. Jesus. Just stop with the fucking stabbing.” I hold my hand out to Janey. “Now give me the fucking knife. And Zoe, beat it.”
“But—”
“This isn't your beef. Take Alexis and get her some ice. And something to keep her from bleeding all over our shit. Janey's fine on her own.” From the looks of it, Emily's already dished out some serious loving, assuming that Alexis's face is her work.
Zoe takes one more quick look at Janey, then glances over at Emily. Her lips curl into a crooked smile. “Fine. Just didn't want to miss the beating. Whatever. Come, Alexis.”
And then it's just the two of them. Emily's jaw tightens, and she sends me an ugly as hell look, but she puts the frying pan down, then glares at Janey, daring her to do the same.