Her Big Neighbor

“I noticed that he was spending more time out of the house, and that he seemed happier. I thought that was good, so I didn’t push it too much.”

There’s a bit of dread settling in my stomach. “I hope that this isn’t going where I think it is.”

He looks at me, and I groan. “It probably is. One day I came home, and I found Kevin and your mom here, making out. I was surprised but I wasn’t angry. They’re adults, they can do what they like. I was mostly surprised because I’ve always known that your mom isn’t a fan of men. And that’s her business. But they both seemed really happy. I think that’s the happiest I’ve seen either of them ever.”

“They didn’t seem happy an hour ago.”

“No,” Edward says. “That’s because of Kevin. He told me that his marriage was over and that’s why he was staying with me. But it wasn’t. He and his wife had had a fight—a bad one—and he had walked out. So when his wife showed up here and found the two of them together, shit hit the fan. I wasn’t here, but there was a huge fight, and obviously it didn’t go well. Kevin went back to his wife to try to make it work, and they have been trying, but she couldn’t forgive him. So she left, and that’s why he’s here now.

“Believe me when I say that I don’t want him here. I don’t want to hurt you or your mom, and even though I don’t think she blames me for what happened, I’m connected. His showing up here was the worst timing imaginable with the event and us finally being together.”

My mind snaps to the connection. “The day she got drunk. That was the day that he was here. She was talking about mistakes, and we were at coffee. Do you think he went over there?”

“Fuck,” he says. “Probably. That makes a lot of sense. But your mother hates him now for what he did to her and what he did to his wife.”

I shake my head. “It is pretty fucked up.”

“It is. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you.”

“I understand why, but let’s make an agreement now that we don’t keep things from each other like that.”

He pulls me close and kisses me with aching softness. “Agreed.”

I kiss him this time, and by the time I come up for air, we’re stretched out on the couch, Edward on top of me. “You have no idea how much I want to stay here with you.”

“You always can.”

I sigh. “You know I can’t.”

“I know,” Edward kisses my neck, “but a man can dream.”

“Who knows, maybe everything will go perfectly, and I’ll be able to come back over tonight.”

He just kisses me again, so that we’re both ignoring the obvious. We kiss until we can’t kiss anymore, and I’m seriously considering throwing caution to the wind and letting him take me right here on this couch. But I glance at the time, and the event is over. I’m not going to be able to think about anything else until we get this over with, and Edward sees that.

“Do you want me to come with you?”

I shake my head. “I don’t think that will make it better.”

“All right,” he says, “but I’ll be here if you need me.”

Helping me up, he walks me to the door, and I feel sick to my stomach, like things aren’t going to be the same after this, but I have to believe everything will work out. I have to. Outside, I can see what looks like the last stragglers leaving my house. “Now or never, I guess.”

One more kiss, and I’m gone. I can feel Edward’s eyes on me all the way to my front door, but I can’t look back at him or I don’t think that I’ll be able to make myself leave. So I just go inside.

The house looks the way most houses do in the aftermath of a party. It seems particularly empty after having seen so many people packed in, and there’s misplaced trash and forgotten food plates on a lot of surfaces. The silence is loud.

But I don’t imagine it will stay that way for very long.

I find Mom in the kitchen, looking absolutely miserable. That same bottle of bourbon is on the island and she’s nursing a glass of it. I’m hoping that maybe she’s changed her mind about being angry at me, and that the little time since we’ve talked has made her realize that it’s her own pain the she’s projecting. So I decide to hope for that and go for friendliness first. “How much money did we raise?”

She scoffs. “We? Don’t suddenly pretend you care.”

“Jesus, mom. I fucking moved home to help you. You think I don’t care?”