“She’d had me sit in the sickbay while she sorted everything out. I sat there for hours, waiting, and when someone finally came for me, it wasn’t the police, it was one of his men, just like every other day. I knew something was wrong, but when we got back to the house, my uncle was waiting for me like nothing had changed. We ate an early dinner, then he sent me to change for bed. It wasn’t until then that he said he had something to show me.” A hiccup escapes me.
I’ll never forget the feeling of dread that filled me when he led me to the basement. When I saw her down there, naked and covered in blood and bruises, I nearly passed out.
“I don’t know how they knew what had happened. He had her in the basement, Sebastian. They’d beaten her badly. He made me watch while his men…” My throat clogs up, and I struggle to keep going. “They raped her. She screamed while I cried, but he wouldn’t let me look away.” I don’t know how long she’d been down there, but it clearly wasn’t the first time they’d forced themselves on her.
God, her screams.
I’ll never be able to forget the guttural sounds she made while they hurt her. Because of me.
Another sob leaves me, and Sebastian runs his hand over my hair. “It’s okay. You don’t have to say any more.”
“A-after they were done, he… he slit her throat and dropped her to the ground like she was nothing. He said if I ever told anyone again, what happened to her would seem merciful. I wanted to run, but I was frozen. I couldn’t stop him when he knocked me to the ground and… there was so much blood. I couldn’t… her eyes, Sebastian. They stared at me while he—”
“Grace, stop. Fuck, you don’t have to say anything else.” Sobs wrack my body as he squeezes me.
Her lifeless eyes were all I could see when he forced himself somewhere he never had before. My limbs flailed, but the blood covering the floor had made it impossible to do anything but slip andthe pain.I thought I knew pain then, but it was nothing compared to what I experienced that night and the years that came after.At one point, I’d blacked out, but even then, all I could see were her eyes, and at that moment, I had felt like I deserved what was happening to me.
“It was my f-fault.”
“No. Listen to me, Grace, nothing that bastard did was your fault.”
“It w-was.” She wouldn’t have been there if it wasn’t for me. And now I can’t stop seeing Mason with blood pouring from his throat, his lifeless hazel eyes staring at nothing.
Sebastian sits up and lifts me off his chest before taking my face in his hands. “Listen to me, Grace. It was not. Your. Fault.” The light from the bedside lamp I hadn’t realised was on until now illuminates his face. His brows are creased, and he stares at me with an intensity I’m not sure I’ve seen before. “Do you understand?” he asks as more tears slide down my cheeks. He doesn’t wipe them away but keeps my face firmly in front of his until I give him a small nod.
I don’t know if I could ever not blame myself, but I give him what he wants, and he pulls me back against him with a sigh.
When I wake early the next morning, I’m completely tangled around Sebastian. My head throbs from crying so much, but I don’t try and move. Feeling his warm body against mine, the rise and fall of his chest against my cheek is all I need. I move my hand lightly over his chest, justfeelinghim.
“Are you okay?” he asks softly, and my hand freezes.
“Sorry I woke you.”
“You didn’t. Are you okay?”
I’m not sure what his version of ‘okay’ is, but as much as I hurt inside, I’m not currently breaking apart, so I nod against him and feel his sigh.
“Will you tell me about them? You’re parents?” I ask, looking for any distraction I can. The only conversation we’ve had about them was on the first day when he found me looking at family photos, though it was hardly a conversation.
There’s a pause, both in silence and how his chest stops moving for a moment before he responds. “What do you want to know?”
“Anything.”