Sebastian doesn’t care about me. Why would he? He doesn’t know me.
All I appear to have done is bring more pain and confusion to his life, and that’s just in one day. Maybe I should leave now. Find another way to start over somehow. He has what he needs, whether he wants to believe me or not. He would be okay.
I would be okay.
But even as the words cross my mind, I can’t seem to make myself believe them.
If I were a stronger person, I’d leave now. He would find the man he’s looking for. Then he’d move on, forgetting I ever existed. In time, he’dheal. I try to solidify the plan in my mind, but some part of me, whether it’s the part that loves him or something else,won’t let me,even if it’s for the best.
Sebastian grunts in response and crosses to the large refrigerator-freezer combination. He rifles around in the drawer, which takes up the entire lower half, before producing a long clear packet filled with a blue substance. He grabs another tea towel from the drawer under the island bench and haphazardly wraps it around the pack before holding it out to me.
Any of the softness I’d seen a moment ago has disappeared like it was never there to begin with, and he keeps his distance as much as he can.
Maybe it wasn’t.
It’s possible the glimmer of protectiveness and something else I couldn’t explain in his eyes a couple of times was just another figment of my imagination. I wanted it to be true, but it was gone so fast I couldn’t be sure it was ever really there. It was easier to believe from afar.
Fantasies spun like delicate silver webs in my mind, delicate but strong enough to hold it all together—prevent me from losing myself completely. They were the only reason I was alive, but the longer I relied on them, the harder it was to distinguish reality from my imagination. They’d gone too far and for too long for me to simplystop.
My hands shake slightly as I reach for the ice pack. Despite the towel wrapped around it, the cold seeps through, sending chills up my arms, and they might as well be coming from Sebastian himself with the barrier he’s put between us.
Can you blame him?
No. I can’t. I stumbled into his life unannounced, and I’ve done nothing but disturb him with half-truths. If he knew the whole story, he wouldn’t help me, and I can’t risk that. Not when everything’s so messed up right now. When I made the deal, I didn’t expect he’d bring me to his penthouse andkeep me here. It’s both a dream and a nightmare—feeding the obsession while praying on my guilt and dependence on this working out.
My damp hair and bare feet only enhance the chill, my knit doing nothing to keep me warm. I mutter a thank you and start to turn, ready to escape back to the confines of my room, when his voice stops me.
“You should eat.”
My steps falter, and I glance back at him. His expression hasn’t changed, but something tells me it’s more than a suggestion.
Just because he doesn’t want you to starve doesn’t mean he cares.
The thought hurts, but I use the moment to take him in properly.
Even standing in his kitchen, he commands attention. His clothes are sharp with no sign of any rumples.
No tie, though—never a tie.
I have the sudden urge to ask him why. I’ve always wondered. It was one of the first things I noticed when I started watching him, but I never could come up with a reason.
The top buttons of his shirt are undone, showing a hint of smooth skin with the slightest dusting of dark hair. His body fills out the clothing perfectly from his broad shoulders and trim waist to his arms, defined and sizable, enough to show he takes care of himself. And I know if he were wearing his suit jacket, it would fit just as well.
I trail my gaze back up to find him watching me, his eyes narrowing at my perusal. Heat blooms on my cheeks at being caught.
I have no idea what he’s thinking. Before I can consider it further, I feel a presence behind me. Looking over my shoulder, Shadow stands a couple of meters away by the end of the large island bench. While his eyes are on me, he doesn’t make a move to come any closer, and even though my heart kicks into gear, a little bit of the fear I felt yesterday has disappeared.
“I’m heading into the office.”
I turn back to face Sebastian, his gaze flicking between Shadow and me.
“The penthouse is being watched, so don’t get any ideas.” He stares at me pointedly, but all I manage is a small nod. I only ever ventured outfor him,and with my plan to leave quickly dissolving, it’s not like I have anywhere to go. “I won’t be back until late, so help yourself to anything in the kitchen.” He checks the watch on his wrist and frowns.
Walking around the other side of the stone island, he grabs his suit jacket off the back of the stool before putting it on and doing the button up. I’m torn between wanting him to take it back off and leaving it on. It hides more of the definition of his body, but at the same time, I can’t deny how good he looks in a suit. It fits like it was made specifically for him—I’m sure it was—and my heart starts up for a completely different reason this time.
When his eyes find mine again, I stop breathing at the intensity of his stare.
“Don’t. Run.” His tone is hard, his expression serious, and I recognize the command for what it is.
But there’s something else. Something hidden in the depths of his bright blue eyes.
Something that couldn’t possibly be asking me to stay.