My instincts were screaming at me to run, but I had a feeling that was the worst thing I could do. Triggering his predator instincts right now would be beyond counterproductive. “I understand that you guys are…the way you are,” I explained, my eyes darting over to Arsen. “But I’m the way I am, too. It’s not right that I have to change so drastically while you make no sacrifices.” I folded my arms under my breasts, getting into it, anger rising to the surface. “I’m a person. I deserve to have a say in the way my life goes. You don’t just get to order me around and expect blind obedience.”
Sig’s jaw dropped and I had to hold myself back from going over to him and decking him. For him to be so shocked that I was standing up for myself was insulting. Or maybe it was just that no one ever stood up to them. I didn’t know, but either way it made my blood boil. I glared at him and he blinked then rubbed his hand over his chest.
He was slightly less dominating than the other two, so I turned my attention to them. “If this is really something you want, then you’re going to need to start making some changes as well. As it stands, I’ve been the only one doing any bending around here and I’m damn near at my breaking point. I can’t, I won’t destroy my identity, who I am.”
They still hadn’t said anything and though my nerves were dancing, it didn’t matter. This needed to be settled. And in a way I could live with. If it wasn’t, I was going to have to leave.
“What do you want?” Arsen asked after a few brief minutes of tense silence.
I blinked rapidly, shock making my brain stall. The idea of them even asking that question seemed so far cut from reality I hadn’t really thought about what I needed from them. Thankfully, I’d always thought well on my feet.
“If you come at me with a knife again,” I said to Rafe, my tone bordering on a snarl, “I’ll be gone so fast you won’t know what happened.”
“Reasonable,” Sig commented.
“That's an understatement,” Arsen said in agreement.
My brow arched as I watched Rafe. It seemed reasonable to the rest of us, but he was a different sort of man. His eye twitched, but finally, he nodded once. It was a short jerky movement, but I knew he meant it.
“No more of this eating from your hand shit. I don’t like it. It’s gross and annoys me. It’s beyond condescending.”
If Rafe ground his teeth together anymore they were going to break off in his mouth. I was starting to enjoy myself. I’d just dealt with weeks of this bullshit from them—Rafe especially—and this felt good. Cathartic.
You’re doing good, but don’t push it. Demand what’s necessary, don’t go out of your way to piss him off or be spiteful. After all, you do want to stay with them.
I was on a roll, so I didn’t wait for them to respond before I continued. “I’m not property. I never will be. When it comes to safety, I’ll do my best to listen and do what’s best for our team as a whole, but you don’t get to order me around all the time.”
Silence. On some level I knew I was demanding a lot. It was ridiculous that I needed to, but I couldn’t live like some trapped bird in a cage. I’d wither and die. I was so much more than they’d tried to make me.
At first—and for too long, I could admit now—I’d played along. I’d had no leverage, so what else was I supposed to do? Those days were over. I’d seen the way they watched me. I knew they wanted me, and I was pretty sure they were as in love with me as I was with them. This was the time to make my stand.
“Anything else?” Arsen asked, his gaze sliding over to Rafe. He was watching his friend as though he were a volcano about to erupt. The analogy probably wasn’t far off, because Rafe’s expression was getting harder by the second.
I straightened my spine and shook my head. “Not right now. I’m sureifwe stay together, more things will pop up in the future. I reserve the right to tell you when you take things too far. And you’ll need to learn to listen to me and accept what I’m telling you when that happens.”
Even Arsen’s gaze darkened with frustration when I emphasized the word ‘if’.
“Andifwe don’t agree to your terms? What then?”
Oh, he’s big mad.My eyes settled fully on Rafe. I shrugged nonchalantly, even though the words that were about to come out of my mouth hurt my heart. I wasn’t sure how I’d fallen so deeply for these men in such a short amount of time, but I had. There was no denying it. Just because I loved them, didn’t mean I’d stay if they were going to keep going this way.
“I’ll leave.”
“You think we’ll let you?” he growled out.
Tilting my head, I studied him. “Not right away,” I admitted. “But eventually you’ll slip up and I’ll be gone. In the meantime, I won’t give you anything. I won’t speak to you, eat, do anything you say, fuck you… Sure you could try to force all those things, but this time I won’t comply. Now that I know the cost of obedience, I’ll never comply again.”
The other two let out soft curses. They knew that meant I’d basically be a shell of myself. My eyes stayed locked with Rafe’s and I saw the faintest flicker in those silver depths. He believed me. Which was good, because I meant every fucking word of it.
We stood there, locked in a stare-down, neither willing to budge. Time ticked slowly by before Rafe’s head raised slightly, the first sign of him softening.
“What do you two think?” he asked, voice more calm than I expected it to be.
“I can handle that,” Sig answered.
“Don’t see that we have a choice. We’ll probably fuck it up on occasion, but if she’s willing to deal with that, I’m in,” Arsen replied.
Rafe and I continued the game to see who would blink first. To my utter disbelief, he did.