The line goes dead, and I feel like I just walked into a blizzard. My entire body is covered in shivers, and I’m shaking. I don’t know what to do. I want to know where my mother is, but more than that, I don’t want to lose everything that I worked for. No matter that the water was already poisoned, I was hoping that I would still be able to work while married to Daniel. I don’t doubt that my father has the kind of influence that he claims. There are plenty of bad men in the world, and I’m sure that he still has many of them as friends.
Could I actually do this? Steal from my husband, who I’m actually starting to love? Is my father right? Would Daniel even know?
I can’t believe that I’m actually considering it. But I already lost everything once, and I don’t want to lose everything again. After everything that I did to him, has Daniel actually let it go? Is there any possible way that he could really love me after all the bullying? After my father and my family destroyed his life?
There are so many instances I can think of where I was cruel to him and I didn’t have to be. I wanted to be. Because I thought he was insignificant. Because my friends and my family all told me that being poor was some kind of crime. The day that I broke his Game Boy flashes in my head, and it makes my heart hurt. I’ll never be able to erase the pain and betrayal that was on his face that day. I knew it was wrong as soon as I did it, but I was so angry that he had dared to look at me. That he had dared to want me. I never apologized for that, and I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to.
Daniel hasn’t said that he loves me, even if he is showing it with his actions. A deep fear takes root inside me that perhaps it’s all just a game. Perhaps he’s like my father in that way, playing everyone for his own advantage. Maybe he’s showering me with affection and gifts and sex so that he can do even worse to me.
I know it’s wrong. Deep down in my gut, I know that it’s wrong, but I can’t shake it. In my hand, my phone buzzes. It’s a text message with a bank account and routing number. It doesn’t surprise me that he’s able to get a cell phone to text me in prison. It surprises me even less that he’s able to speak about blackmail on a monitored prison line and know that nothing will happen. If anything, it proves that what he was saying is true.
Alex is still waiting for me, so I place a smile on my face and walk back out into living room. “Okay,” I say. “Sorry about that.”
Looking up from her sketchbook, Alex looks at me. “Are you all right?”
I nod. “Of course.”
She looks at me as if she knows I’m lying, but I plaster on my best smile and sit down next to her again. “Let’s talk about the wedding dress.”
13
Daniel
I arrive at my parent’s home before Monica does. That’s intentional. She wasn’t wrong this morning when she expressed nervousness about how my parents might feel about her. I certainly was the one with the heaviest grudge against the Blasts, but that doesn’t mean that my parents were unaffected, or that they’ll necessarily be happy to see me with Monica. I’m hoping that if I break the news to them personally, and explain my change of heart, that they’ll be on board.
Plus, it’s been a while since I’ve seen them, and I’m banking on them being happy about that to soften the blow. My mother seemed surprised when I called her to ask for dinner, but happily agreed. She said she wanted to talk to me, which means they likely have seen the gossip and want to know what on earth is going on with me. I didn’t lie to Monica. There was a moment a couple of years ago when the tabloids reported that I had gotten married, but it wasn’t even close to true. So my parents always wait for confirmation from me for big life news.
However, I have to admit that the pictures of us with wedding rings on are particularly damning.
The house I bought for my parents is in the same upscale suburb as my own, though I don’t spend much time there. I generally prefer to be at my hotel, closer to the casino in case something needs my attention.
I could’ve afforded something much bigger and grander for them, but they’re happy here. And that’s the most important thing to me. After all they did for me when I was a kid, trying their hardest even though we were broke more than half the time, I just want them to be happy.