The Marriage Dare

The tears fall down my face, and I start to hiccup because I can’t breathe. There’s pain in my chest— an ache that I can’t describe. I want to scratch it out and eliminate it. I want to tear it out of my chest and throw it far away. But I can’t. It’s the feeling of deep and utter betrayal. The knowledge that every horrible suspicion I had was true. The world sees me as evil, ruthless, a rotten apple by virtue of my terrible parents.

That makes the tears fall harder.

I sit down in the corner, pulling my knees up to my chest and taking off my shoes. It feels good to be small, and I press my head to my knees to make myself smaller. And I let myself cry. In a way, that feels good too, even though it hurts.

When the door opens, I know that it’s him. I should have known that they wouldn’t keep my location a secret for long. But they work for him, and not for me. I don’t want to see him, and yet I want to see him so badly that it makes the tears flow fresh.

Daniel’s footfalls are soft on the plush carpet, but I can still hear when he stops in front of me. “Princess?”

I squeeze myself further into a ball at the nickname. It feels childish, but I can’t bear to look at him. I don’t want to see his pity.

Hands brush my arms, move across my hair, stroking down my sides. “Please, Monica,” he whispers. “Please look at me.”

I can’t.

“I got there early to tell them about you and me,” he says. “I never imagined that they would react that way. I thought that they would be happy for me. I never meant for that to happen, and I never meant for you to hear any of that. It’s not true.”

“Yes, it is,” I say, finally looking up at him. My mascara is probably all over my face, and my eyes feel puffy enough that I have to squint. “It is true.”

Daniel doesn’t look betrayed, he looks exasperated. “What are you talking about?”

I duck my head down in between my knees again. “My dad called today. He wants your money. He promised me that he would ruin me if I didn’t help him. He also promised that he would tell me where my mom is, if I just wired him a few hundred thousand dollars. And I thought about it. I actually thought about it. So, you see? They’re right. Everything they said is true. You should hate me.”

“I don’t hate you,” he said softly.

I push myself up to my feet and brush past him. “Don’t you see, though? I almost robbed you. I don’t deserve whatever love you ever had for me. I thought about helping a man who has already destroyed my life so thoroughly I didn’t think it could recover. But I still thought I should help him. Because I didn’t want to lose anything more. You won’t be able to trust me again, and I understand. You’ll never be able to know how bad I feel, but I understand whatever action you have to take.”

Daniel stands slowly. “But you didn’t do it.”

“No,” I say with a shuddering breath.

“So why wouldn’t I be able to trust you? Why shouldn’t I love you?”

I shake my head. “Because I thought about it. Because I’m my father’s daughter, and his blood is in me. I have the same instincts. It’s just a matter of time.”

He takes a step forward, and I take one back. He takes another one, and I’m backed against the wall. This feels a little like déjà vu, because we were just here a few days ago in the same position. “You’re not even hearing what you’re saying, Princess,” he says. “Your mind is twisted up because what my parents said is what you’re afraid of. You didn’t steal from me, and you didn’t even want to. Your father blackmailed you. He used her mother against you, and your fear. Even if you had tried, it would have been his fault for making you feel like you couldn’t. But you didn’t. You told me.” He leans close, not yet touching, but surrounding me. “And he won’t touch you, I swear it. I can help you find your mother. I can make it so that his influence is nothing. You are mine, and I will protect you. That’s the end of the story.”

I shake my head. “You shouldn’t trust me.”

Daniel kisses me, and it undoes me. I’m crying again, but I so desperately want his kiss that I’m clinging to him too. “Who we were in the past doesn’t matter anymore. That’s what I’m trying to get through to my parents. That’s what I’ve learned in these days with you. We are not the same people we were then, and our actions from that time do not have to define us. Our parents don’t define us. We get to decide who we are now and what we want now. Right now, in this moment, I am a man who loves you. I am man who wants to be your husband, and give you everything. Who are you?”