Maybe even more so, because I got to see him in person, even if we could never really touch outside of the proper hugs hello or goodbye at parties just like the one my parents are throwing downstairs.
Suddenly, it feels like that younger version of me, the one who dreamed of this moment for years, is roaring back to life. And I don’t’ care anymore how dangerous this could be, or what my father will do to both of us if he walks in on us right now. He’d fire Russ, yes. He’d probably fire me too, or maybe even go as far as to kick me out of the house. I don’t know for sure. I know he’d want to punish me, and even Mom’s placating influence could only go far if I really pushed him with something this forbidden.
I don’t care.
Russ is still watching me with that smile, waiting for a response. So I give it to him. I reach up and wrap both arms around his strong, muscular shoulders, and pull him down against me, as my mouth finds his again. I kiss him harder, desperately. As if I can transfer all my own fear and desire and want into this one kiss. His lips part against mine, and his tongue slips into my mouth, sliding against mine, wrestling for control.
He finds it again, easily. His hands slide down my curves, and with one swift tug, he lets the towel I’d wrapped around myself back by the poolside puddle at my feet. We’re practically naked now, only his swimming trunks and my skimpy bikini standing between our completely naked bodies.
It was one thing to fuck him in the stairwell at work, hard and fast, but still with practically all of our clothes on. It’s another to be able to take my time now. To trace my hands over his abs, counting each one with exploring fingers. To feel the way he crushes me against him and spins with me in his arms, toward the distant, narrow twin bed that I grew up sleeping in.
“I need you, Maggie,” he says, his voice a desperate growl that echoes my own white hot desire in this moment. It feeds my craving like a feedback loop, making the tight sensation between my legs, as my clit begins to physically ache with want, grow more insistent. Knowing that he wants me as much as I want him, that he’s thought about this as often as I have… I can’t explain the thrill I get from of that.
“You’ve got me,” I whisper, because damn the consequences, fuck how badly this will blow up in our faces if anyone finds out. I don’t care anymore.
Russ’s smile grows as soon as those words leave my mouth, and then he hoists me without warning against, earning a little squeak of protest from me as he sweeps my legs out from under me. But he doesn’t toss me into the deep end of a pool this time. He just lowers me gently onto my own bed, before he lies down on top of me, slowly, so I can savor every inch of his hot skin, still damp from the pool, as it sizzles against mine.
The bed really is tiny. I knew that, factually speaking. But it’s another thing to try to share it with another body. Some part of me dimly notes that I’ve never even hooked up with anyone, even someone my own age, in this bed. I was always too terrified of what my father would do if he caught us, even after I graduated from nursing school and returned back here full time. On the rare occasions when I have hooked up with guys in the past, I’ve always gone to their places to do it.
Which only makes this feel extra dirty and forbidden.
“You have no idea how hard it’s been to keep my hands off of you all night,” Russ murmurs against my neck, as his fingers trace down my sides to my hips. He flattens one hand against my belly and lets his fingertips toy with the hem of my panties. I suck in a sharp breath and try to concentrate on remembering to breathe.
It’s hard to do that whenever he’s around. Let alone when he’s touching me like this. “You didn’t manage all that well… during that game of chicken,” I point out, only losing my breath once during the whole sentence, and proud of myself for it.
His grin widens. “What can I say? I slipped.” He leans down to kiss me again, and I let my eyes flutter closed, my lips already parted in anticipation. But he only kisses the corner of my mouth, his lips tracing down the edge of my jawline next, and along it until he nips gently at the soft, sensitive spot where my ear meets the corner of my jaw.