Faking It with the Frenemy

“Aw, man,” David says. “I asked her to pack some of Mom’s brownies for me. They’re the best!”

For God’s sake. “Alexandra might possibly have better things to do than send you a care package, partner. Why don’t you just go visit your folks? Have all the brownies you want and be twelve again.”

“Can’t. Mom’s pissed at me for relocating.” He sighs sadly. “I had my last decent home-baked cookie today. It’s painful, man. Painful.”

“How come?” I ask, unsure where he’s going with this or where he managed to find home-baked cookies. Normally I’d suggest he simply get himself a girlfriend who likes to bake, but this is David. He doesn’t do relationships anymore.

“Today’s Melanie’s last day. So she brought some goodbye cookies, then made a huge scene before leaving.”

Oh shit. “Did she throw stuff?” I didn’t think she’d stoop that low. I mean, I never misled her into thinking she’d get a permanent position or anything.

“No. She was just crying a lot. Then she said she did everything she could to stay as long as she could.”

“What she did was clip pictures of Ryder Reed and Chris Hemsworth at work. I’ve seen them. She has stacks—literally stacks—on her desk.”

David laughs. “Hey, a girl can fantasize.”

Easy for him to say. His assistant actually does what she’s supposed to at the office.

“‘I even brought cookies,’” he adds in a falsetto.

“Too bad bringing cookies wasn’t her job.”

“Nobody bothered to point that out, though. We all enjoyed her baking.” He sounds mournful. “You think Loren…?”

“Hey, you tell Erin to bake you cookies if you want ’em so bad,” I say, feeling mildly territorial over my new assistant. “I don’t want Loren doing anything except her job.”

“No, thanks. I prefer my stomach lining intact. The last time Erin brought me home-baked carrot cake, I thought my mouth would dissolve.”

“That good, huh?”

“She used chili sauce.”

“Chili sauce? In carrot cake?”

“For coloring.”

I burst out laughing.

“Fuck you,” he says mildly.

“Must’ve been pretty b

ad if you can’t come up with a better comeback than that.”

“Yeah, yeah. Listen, you know if there’re going to be a lot of hot single women at the party?” he asks.

“What party?” I’m not going anywhere but home to hang out with Kim. If he’s that curious, he should be asking the host, not me.

“You weren’t invited?” He sounds shocked.

“I just landed. I haven’t had a chance to check my messages yet.”

“Yuna Hae asked me to come to her party today,” he explains. “I thought she invited you, too. Isn’t she rooming with your girlfriend?”

“Yuna? Yeah, she is. How do you know her?” David’s talking like he’s tight with the woman.

“I’ve known her brother for a while. We’re thinking about using their Internet platform to distribute our app in Korea.”