“I have this magical thing called a credit card.”
Sarcastic asshole. “And I have an email from PayPal confirming the payment.”
“Honey, you hired the wrong guy.”
“No, I didn’t. Why else would you show up in a black Batman shirt and black pants?”
“Because I like Batman, and black pants match the shirt?” he says, like he can’t believe I’m criticizing his outfit.
“But that’s what I told you to wear for the wedding.”
“Sweetheart, in case it hasn’t occurred to you, no one has a monopoly on Batman shirts and black pants! I bought the shirt yesterday, and the store had at least twenty more!”
Damn it. I’m beginning to realize maybe I got him mixed up with Bruce the Escort. All because of the shirt and pants.
“Okay,” I say in a small voice. “So… There might have been a, uh, minor mix-up.”
“Minor mix-up?” He scoffs. “Do you know how complicated things are now?”
I say nothing.
After a moment, he sighs. “Since there’s been a mistake, can’t we just get an annulment?” This time he asks nicely.
“No. Look, can you just work with me here?” I’ll have to look into what happened with Bruce, but for now, my main goal is get Devlin to say yes because I don’t know how long it’s going to take to dissolve this marriage and redo things with the escort I actually hired. I’m working with a tight timeline. “Maybe as a favor to my brother?” I suggest, grasping a little.
Devlin doesn’t respond.
“Because you like Max,” I add. If I shoot enough reasons at him, eventually, I’ll hit the bull’s-eye. “And he won’t be mad at you anymore if I tell him you’re doing me a favor. I’ll even throw in what a wonderful husband you are.”
Devlin still doesn’t respond, but his index finger twitches.
I present him with my most reassuring smile. It doesn’t always work, but a girl’s gotta try. Tasha said I look cute when I smile. I shoot him my best “pretty please?” look.
“I don’t want to be married,” Devlin says finally. “It has nothing to do with how much I like your brother. And in case you weren’t catching that particular vibe, Max would absolutely prefer that we not be married. Trust me on this.”
No, no, no. Desperation rises, clogging in my throat. “It’s only for a year,” I say quickly. “I don’t have time to arrange for another fake husband, even if I had the money to pull it off. I’m trying to get the childhood home that Max and I grew up in. That’s all.”
“Trying to get…? Becca, most people just buy the property they want. It’s really the easiest way… Unless you don’t have the money?” He shakes his head. “Why don’t you ask Max? He’ll buy it for you.”
“He can’t. We’ve been trying. Our grandmother owns the house right now, but she won’t sell it to either of us. But she says she’ll give it to me as a first anniversary gift. Which is why I’m doing this.” I look at him for some positive sign. More openness in his body language. Tension leaving his shoulders. Maybe even a nod if he wants to be more obvious. I’ve never hated it more than now that I suck at reading people’s expressions. If I could, I’d know what to say next to convince Devlin to help.
He scratches his temple and sighs. Maybe he’s considering my proposal. Or maybe he’s berating himself, questioning what he’s gotten himself into.
As I watch him struggle to cope with the situation, a wave of resentment starts pouring over me. It isn’t even all my fault we’re married.
“You don’t have to act like this is some huge pain in the butt!” I say. “It’s partly your fault.”
“My fault?” He sounds stunned and affronted. “Okay, this ought to be good. How is it my fault?”
“If you hadn’t shown up in front of the clerk’s office last night… Or nodded when I asked you if you’re Bruce… Or allowed me to take you into the closest chapel with our marriage license in hand… Or said, ‘I do,’ to the Elvis Presley priest…”
“I was drunk! And I don’t remember you asking me if I was Bruce!”
“Well, I didn’t buy you the drinks, so that wasn’t on me. And do you think I really want to do this? Live with some strange guy for a year? The house means everything to me. And to Max.” I hate the fact that I need to twist everything to get what I need, all because the wrong man put the ring on my finger last night. “It would be awful to lose that house. For both of us. And you don’t even have to be commit to a full year. If I get the house sooner than expected”—the chances of that happening are lower than cockroaches going extinct, but I want to put everything in the best light possible—“I promise I will free you before our first anniversary.”
“I’m so glad you understand this marriage is a form of bondage,” Devlin says dryly.
My face heats a little with embarrassment and annoyance. “This isn’t how I would’ve wanted it, either. I never wanted to meet any of my brother’s bandmates like this.” Axelrod is everything to Max. He’s worked so hard and so long for what he—and they—have accomplished. I know one of his bandmates becoming a brother-in-law could get awkward, especially since the marriage is destined to end. “Look, I’ll sign a document saying I don’t want anything from you. No half your money, no alimony, nothing. I’ll also tell Max you’re an exceptional husband and a wonderful human being. He’ll never have a reason to be upset with you for not being good to me. As a matter of fact, I’ll—”