Fatigue dragged at every muscle. This was just the icing on an already draining evening. The only thing she wanted to talk about was how fast she could get home and into bed. Her bed. Alone.
"We could probably say a lot and not get anywhere. Lets just chalk it up to experience and call it good, okay? I always knew sex with you would be nothing short of spectacular and you proved me right. I should be thanking you, right? You and your fuck buddy here," she said with another sideways glance in Micahs direction.
"Youre tired and just got dealt a hell of a surprise, baby doll," Micah said quietly. "Dont make it worse by lashing out and saying things you dont mean. Go on home and get some rest. Nathan and our apologies will wait. "
Her smile warbled, and she finally gave up on trying to pretend it didnt matter. "Youre right. Im being a hysterical female, and worse, Im not taking as good as I gave. I had it coming. It was amusing when the shoe was on the other foot, so I need to suck it up and take it like a big girl. I do appreciate you two making it so good for me, though. Im not lying about that. The sex was incredible. "
$She walked past, ignoring Nathans outstretched hand and his growl of protest. She heard Micah tell him to lay off. Willing h
erself not to react, not to feel, she left The House and got into her little sports car.
The smooth leather cupped her as lovingly as . . . well, as lovingly as Nathan had earlier. She loved her car. Shed worked damn hard for it. The leather was as smooth as a babys bottom. Like buttah.
The engine roared to life and purred like a contented cat. Ideally shed be in bed purring like that contented cat after the bone-melting sex shed had, but there were two problems with that scenario now.
It felt disappointingly hollow after watching Damon and Serena together. Which was pretty stupid, because she might never find the sort of love those two shared, and what was she going to do, spend the rest of her life comparing herself and coming up short?
She shifted and accelerated out of the gate and onto the highway. Feeling a sudden need to feel the wind in her hair, she slowed and hit the button to take the top down.
Briefly closing her eyes as the sweet evening air blew over her face, she shoved her hair back and sped up.
The other problem facing what should have been a sated cuddle against her pillows was the fact that the man shed spent the better part of the last several months lusting over had managed to knock her completely off guard. She didnt like being at a disadvantage, and when shed scented Nathan and realized the magnitude of the deception hed managed to pull off, she had no snappy comebacks, no flirty teasing.
"This isnt like you, Julie," she muttered.
Her words were swallowed by the wind, but she may as well have yelled. The thought resonated over and over, followed her home nipping at her heels like a persistent pup.
She whipped into her parking space at her apartment complex and wearily climbed out of her car.
"Sleep. A few hours sleep and youll be your old self again. "
As she let herself into her apartment, she wondered if lying to herself had become her new mantra.
Chapter 21
A knock at her door wrung her from the deep dredges of a dreamless sleep. When the person showed no signs of going away, Julie grumbled and rolled out of bed. She didnt bother trying to make herself presentable because the way she saw it, whoever had the audacity to show up at such an ungodly hour deserved to see her looking like a hungover hag.
She glanced at the clock on her way out of the bedroom. Oops, maybe ten thirty wasnt exactly an ungodly hour, but still, it was Sunday and Julies only full day off.
Almost to the door, she had the unsettling thought that it could be Nathan here to take up where theyd left off the night before. She already felt like a train wreck. Facing Nathan right now would be like getting backed over by a Mac truck. Repeatedly.
Remembering Nathans admonishment about opening the door to just anyone, she cracked it, leaving the chain on, and peered out.
"Julie?"
She quickly closed the door and yanked the chain off then opened the door wide. Serena stood there, her expression troubled.
"Can I come in?"
Julie tilted her head in confusion. "Of course. Come in. Why on earth would you need to ask a question like that?"
She turned and led the way into the living room, Serenas soft steps pattering behind her.
"I was worried you might be angry with me. Or with Damon. "
Julie stopped and turned in front of the couch. "Do you want something to eat or drink? I just got up, so Im not my best right now. "
Serena took her hands in hers and urged her to sit down with her on the couch.
"Are you angry with us?"
Julie smiled. "No, hon, Im not angry with you and Damon. Why would I be?"
"Damon said you found out about Nathan and Micah. Nathans worried about you. So are Micah and Damon. So am I. Nathan said you looked . . . well, he said you werent yourself when you left. I knew this was a bad idea, but I went along with it because you seemed to want Nathan so much, and he wanted you. "
Serena gave her an unhappy look as she trailed off.
"You have nothing to feel guilty over, Serena. Damon either. He gave me what I wanted. Anonymous sex. "
Serena frowned harder. "So what now?"
Julie laughed and scrubbed a hand over her bleary eyes. "Thats a good question. Nothing, I guess. Id already decided before I met up with Nathan and Micah that I wasnt going back for more. "
"You sound remarkably calm about all this," Serena said doubtfully.
"Hmm. Well, to be honest, what am I supposed to get pissed about? I was a little embarrassed when I realized the truth, but that pissed me off more than figuring out Id been had. I gave as good as I got. I have nothing to be embarrassed over. "
Serena grinned. "Thats the Julie I know and love. Not this kicked-puppy thing youve got going on. "
Julie chuckled. "I sulked a little when I got home, but honestly, its not some great betrayal. I pulled one over on Nathan. He retaliated. He didnt deceive me, because I asked Damon for anonymity. In hindsight Im a little relieved that the two guys werent complete strangers. And it certainly helped that they were so damn good in the sack. "