Beauty and the Assassin

–Me: It’s going to be different this time. Roy has made me realize I can’t just run.

–Courtney: What do you mean?

Her bated breath is almost tangible through the digital space.

–Me: I think I’m in love. But I can’t be with the guy if I keep running from Roy.

Three dots appear on the screen. I take a swallow of the vodka. Then another. Still no text from Courtney. Just the three dots.

–Courtney: Love! That’s great!

Amusement and contempt twine like snakes inside me. It shouldn’t have taken this long for you to type three little words, Courtney. Was the declaration of love such a shock?

–Me: He’s perfect. I didn’t know multiple orgasms were real until now.

–Courtney: Wow. I’m thrilled. So tell me about him.

–Me: He makes me happy. And whenever I’m with him, I think of the future. Like, wedding and babies. I think I deserve it after eight years. Don’t you?

I puff, enjoying the cigar. Angelika’s now on her fifth latte. Is she trying out a new recipe? I thought those fancy drinks were more or less all the same.

–Courtney: Incredible. Just incredible. You know who you have to call to be your maid of honor!

–Me: I can’t impose like that. You live so far away.

–Courtney: Not for my best friend! Besides, I’ve always wanted to visit L.A. You’re still at the same place, right?

Oh? Did Roy ask you to find out where Angelika has gone? It doesn’t take a genius to know her garage apartment is empty. I never made any attempt to hide the fact that she doesn’t go there anymore, and she doesn’t know enough to think about that. She’s too drunk on her current good fortune. As well she should be.

–Me: No, I moved in with my guy. It’s for the best. Safer, too. He makes me feel protected.

I hope she films Roy’s reaction when she shows him these texts and sends me a copy. It would be very entertaining.

–Courtney: Good for you! He must be special.

Oh, I am—specially skilled.

–Me: He is. We even work at the same place.

–Courtney: The café?

–Me: No. At a charitable foundation. It’s amazing.

I don’t give her more information. It wouldn’t be like Angelika to go into that level of detail. But it should be enough for Roy to figure out. If not, I will be disappointed.

–Courtney: Sounds cool. Listen, I gotta go. Boyfriend’s calling.

You mean you have to run to Roy and tell him everything…

–Me: Okay. Have fun.

–Courtney: You too!

I put the phone away and finish my vodka.

Angelika lets out a frustrated groan.

“What’s wrong?” I stand up and make my way to the kitchen. Six lattes.