Mister Fake Fiance

David looks at his phone and grunts. “Mom,” he says, wiping his mouth with a napkin like he’s about to face her in person.

“I’ll be very quiet,” I promise around a small bite.

He nods and answers. “Mom!” He throws out a megawatt smile while he’s at it, even though his mother can’t see it. “What…? No. Of course not.” There’s a pause. “He told you, or you saw?” He lets out a laugh. He’s trying to act as natural as possible, but I can tell he’s thinking, Oh shit. “We’re just having dinner… Uh-huh. Yeah, I know it’s late… Well, you know. I couldn’t… Well, if you’d asked before you sent it, you wouldn’t be so embarrassed now, would you?” He rolls his eyes. “Yes, yes. It’s all my fault. I’m so sorry. Yes, she’s here. Huh? Okay. Give me a sec.” He turns to me, his expression serious. “I just muted her for a bit, but I can’t hold her off for too long. Mom wants to talk to you.”

“What? Why?” I squeak out through a ball of panic in my throat.

“Trent told her we’re engaged, and she’s kind of, uh…beside herself.”

Oh, crap. It never crossed my mind that Mrs. Darling would be this eager. This kind of excitement…it’s just not part of my experience, not even when I was dating Warren and everyone assumed we’d marry. Warren’s mom was too sick, and his dad was too busy with his career. The only one who cared was my father, but only because he was calculating how he could use it for his ambitions.

David places the phone on the counter. “You’re on speaker, Mom, just like you wanted.”

“Erin, are you there?” Mrs. Darling asks. “I just want to make sure.”

I raise an eyebrow. Maybe David’s played tricks on her before.

“Yes, I’m here,” I say. “Hello, Mrs. Darling.”

“Oh dear, that sounds so formal.” I can hear a smile in her tone. “You can call me something much friendlier and more family-like. Mom has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”

I choke on the pizza I’m in the middle of swallowing. I can’t call her mom when I’m only going to be engaged to her son for three months!

David reaches over and pats my back.

“Hello? Are you there?” Mild anxiety streaks her words.

I try to answer, but only hacking sounds come out.

“Oh, too soon? Would you prefer Sun instead?”

“Mom, you surprised the crap out of her! She’s literally choking.”

“Then Heimlich her, now!” she thunders like a general leading troops into battle. “I’m not going to lose a daughter-in-law after waiting this long!”

I thump my sternum, hoping it’ll dislodge the food. She has to stop because I’m not her daughter-in-law yet. Actually, I’m not going to be her daughter in anything!

The pizza finally goes down. “Mrs. Darling, I’m really okay with what I’ve been calling you,” I croak, doing my best not to sound panicked or freaked out.

“Nonsense. David should’ve told me about this before. He was acting so mysterious that I had no idea, especially with him living so far away and not being in contact much, you know?”

David looks up at the heavens.

“Of course,” I say soothingly. “I’m sorry.”

“He should be the one apologizing, not you. If I’d known, I wouldn’t have asked you to put the picture in David’s room. Actually, I wouldn’t have sent it like that at all. I would’ve shared it on our app like a person of high technology.”

Her reaction makes me smile a little. She’s actually…cute.

“You still should have,” David mutters.

If she hears him, she ignores him. “Anyway, Alexandra’s turning sixty-seven in three weeks. We have a birthday bash at her home, like we always do.”

“What?” David says, sitting up a little straighter. “I thought she didn’t want to do it this year. Just have a quiet day and have us donate to charity instead.”

“Well, that was the plan, until she heard you got engaged! We’re all expected to donate to charity, of course, but we’re also having the get-together. And naturally you’re invited, Erin.”

Oh my God! Panic twists through me, and the hair on the back of my neck bristles as icy apprehension spreads. It’s one thing to fake an engagement or talk to his mom on the phone, but another to attend his grandmother-slash-the CEO’s birthday party. And from the eagerness in Mrs. Darling’s voice, it’s clear that she wants to get to know me very, very well.